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h2005

PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:46 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 3:13 pm
Location: Chelmsford, Essex
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Dirk's a fantastic bloke - really funny and always cracking jokes - but with some interesting stories about his past too. He was one of my main friends there, and we spent many an hour together in the pub, green room, hotel, coach, etc. talking about all sorts to do with DOND and life in general.

The trip I had to Bristol city centre with Dirk and Lisa one weekend has to be one of the funniest things I've ever done! I'll be posting more funny Dirk-related stories here as and when I remember them. :lol:

I'd always get a fit of giggles with Lisa whenever we looked over and saw Dirk standing there on his "invisible motorbike" (which he'd inherited from Rich according to Noel). He's a bit quiet on set as he's concentrating on his motorbike, but he really is a gem!

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h2005

PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:14 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 3:13 pm
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Also can anyone (mike? ;)) supply a video of Dirk's box opening from today? His dramatic pause ( :lol: ) before he opened his box was brilliant...

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clareclw1

PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:15 pm    Author: clareclw1    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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hahaha yea it was hilarious!! i watched it with my mother and we were both in stitches!!!

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Michael DeVere

PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:43 am    Author: Michael DeVere    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2006 6:46 pm
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Here it is then - Dirk's Slow Box Opening - from today's show. :smt023

When I watched this earlier I did find it really amusing. I was actually waiting for Noel to say something like 'open the box, Dirk'. Instead there was just this long silence (apart from a bit of laughter after a few seconds) waiting for Dirk to open his box.

Just imagine if you were at 3-box at a vital point with the game resting on the last box opened and you choose Dirk. The tension would be unbearable if he took that long. :lol:


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flamedtresses

PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:31 pm    Author: flamedtresses    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:40 am
Location: hull
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im in :-D dirk seems like a great guy

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PROUD MEMBER OF THE H2005 AKA DAVID FANCLUB SINCE 22nd October 2006 AND ALSO THE TRUE BANKERS NO1 FAN :)


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xuenilom

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:03 am    Author: xuenilom    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:00 pm
Location: West Midlands, UK
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I'm in, he made me laugh today with his comments!


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Tom

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:52 pm    Author: Tom    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Wed May 24, 2006 11:15 am
Location: Suffolk. That's as detailed as I'm going..
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I'm in.


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alexandercbrown

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:57 pm    Author: alexandercbrown    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:30 pm
Location: edinburgh
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I'm in funny funny banter him and george today. I think he said 'speele' meaning play seeing as 'spielen' means play in German.


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h2005

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:16 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 3:13 pm
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Yes, I assume the Dutch word is similar to the German word.

Anyway, Dirk promised me that he'll join the forum and make some contributions, so I can't wait for him to do so. In the meantime, he's said I can post some stories about him, so here goes...

Lisa, Dirk and I went to Bristol's city centre on one weekend, and it was funny from start to finish! Dirk was chatting up two girls who were dressed as Christmas crackers and Lisa took his photo with them. She then dragged us into a clothes shop, and Dirk kept going on about these girls who were dressed as "fire crackers". Lisa and I didn't know what he was on about, and then he suddenly yelled out "CHRISTMAS CRACKERS!!! NOT fire crackers".

A little bit later, the thought of lunch was clearly in Dirk's head as I asked him if he ever went cycling in Holland, and he said "Yes, we must get some". I then said "No, did you go cycling?" and he said "Ja, ja, we'll get some" - I think he thought I was talking about food!!

We then went to look for a cafe but there was a mis-understanding where Lisa and I thought Dirk wanted to go to a cafe with a wooden floor so he could do his "banker challenge war dance" (more on that later) as the wooden floor makes the banging louder. I'm still not sure if he wanted to go to a cafe with a wooden floor for that reason or not.

There was a man and a woman doing some rather erotic dancing in a big bubble thing in the Cabot Circus shopping centre (I think it was some sort of advertising feature) and in a loud voice, with children nearby, Dirk said "Eh David, why don't they get on with it and have sex?".

Then on the way back to the hotel, Dirk started asking Lisa what she was doing that evening. She said she might go for a dip in the hotel's swimming pool, and Dirk kept asking her if he could come and watch.

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Nkosi Enkulu

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:00 pm    Author: Nkosi Enkulu    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:46 pm
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alexanderbrown,

I did say to George "Spelen" when he asked me but the subtitles said "spel het"..
Anyway no problem the idea was to tell him to carry on which he did.

Yes Dave the Dutch word "spelen" or "speel" is almost the same as the German word "Spiel " which has the same meaning.

Oh boy those Christmas cracker girls,
But we did go for something to eat did we not.


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h2005

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:02 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 3:13 pm
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Dirk,

It's great to see you on here. What's the story behind your username?

And I think we did go for something to eat - did we not end up in Burger King (where you were eyeing up more young ladies)? ;)

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MisterAl

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:09 pm    Author: MisterAl    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:50 pm
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h2005 wrote:
What's the story behind your username?

It means 'Big Chief' in South Africa. Don't you even know that yet?

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h2005

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:11 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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MisterAl wrote:
h2005 wrote:
What's the story behind your username?

It means 'Big Chief' in South Africa. Don't you even know that yet?


My shamwari,

I wasn't aware of that, no, but I am now!

Famba zwakanaka,
David

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jamesfish

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:30 pm    Author: jamesfish    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:38 pm
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He seems like a great addition to the wings, I hope he does more box openings like the one he did on sunday, what was that strange look he was giving.


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granitecitybino

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:31 pm    Author: granitecitybino    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:05 pm
Location: Aberdeen
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Seems a great character so I will join the fan club of Nkosi Enkulu 8)


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Michael DeVere

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 1:07 am    Author: Michael DeVere    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2006 6:46 pm
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Welcome to forum Dirk. Hope you had a good game. :D


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h2005

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:03 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 3:13 pm
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The time has come for another Dirk Tale.

Dirk's from Holland but spent many years living in South Africa where he came across the Zulu tribal warrior dance. He altered the words to suit DOND, and called it the "Banker's Challenge". It's best performed when on a wooden floor, and you stamp your feet on the floor whilst holding up your left arm and whacking the elbow with your right arm (this gives the impression of whacking your shield, I think).

It goes something like...

I zicka zimba, zimba, zimba
I zicka zimba, zimba, hey
I zicka zimba, zimba, zimba
I zicka zimba, zimba, hey

Bring him down, that man called Banker!
Hold him down, and make him CRY, CRY, CRY... HEY!

I zicka zimba, zimba, zimba
I zicka zimba, zimba, hey
I zicka zimba, zimba, zimba
I zicka zimba, zimba, hey

Bayete!


Dirk often performed this before going into the studio to pump everyone up. He'd normally throw a 1p coin onto the floor before he performed the dance too.

One evening in the hotel, there were a group of BBC Executives who had reserved a VIP area of the hotel bar. They were having some sort of awards ceremony, standing up to give speeches and so on. It was quite clear that us "DOND rabble" wasn't welcome, so we decided to move to the pub next door. Dirk suggested that on the way out, he should perform his Banker Challenge Dance. He did so, and we all walked through the hotel bar performing his dance with him, drowning out everything the BBC Executives were saying. It was so funny - the look on the hotel staff was priceless - they just didn't know what to do or how to react!!! Nice one, Dirk!!!

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h2005

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm    Author: h2005    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub
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Another Dirk Gem is due around about.......... now!!!!!!!!

Dirk had been tormenting me all day with the set of false teeth that he kept in his pocket. He'd often get them out, hold them in his hand and say "Eh, Dave, look what I've got" and then burst out laughing when I showed my disgust at these plastic teeth he was holding in his hand.

One evening when we were walking back from the pub, there was a drunk wedding guest peeing up the wall of the hotel (lovely! :roll: ). Dirk got his set of false teeth out and he said "Eh, Dave, you know how I could stop him doing that". I think he was implying that he could bite the man's wedding tackle off with his set of false teeth...

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cool-luke-18

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:35 pm    Author: cool-luke-18    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:57 pm
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There is no denying that he is funny particularlly if stands over a box does nothing for a few seconds so I'l join.


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Nkosi Enkulu

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:12 pm    Author: Nkosi Enkulu    Post subject: Re: Dirk Fanclub

Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:46 pm
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h2005 wrote:
Another Dirk Gem is due around about.......... now!!!!!!!!

Dirk had been tormenting me all day with the set of false teeth that he kept in his pocket. He'd often get them out, hold them in his hand and say "Eh, Dave, look what I've got" and then burst out laughing when I showed my disgust at these plastic teeth he was holding in his hand.

One evening when we were walking back from the pub, there was a drunk wedding guest peeing up the wall of the hotel (lovely! :roll: ). Dirk got his set of false teeth out and he said "Eh, Dave, you know how I could stop him doing that". I think he was implying that he could bite the man's wedding tackle off with his set of false teeth...



Yea Dave, i can remember that one all right.
Gee. that bloke got very agitated especially when the women with us started laughing. :laughing He did not know what to do but eventually tried to put it away out of sight and mouthed ". :evil: ......... b.itches.
I more than likely made it a bit worse when I said they're laughing at the size of it.

Dave, it are little incidents like that what made our stay in Bristol something what stays with you and will remember in years to come and wish that you could turn the clock back. :smt023

Dave you mentioned in another post I was in South Africa. No, it was actually North and Southern Rhodesia. later to become Zambia and Zimbabwe.. But I do know South Africa as I often went there on holidays. Also I was at that time often in Bechuanaland (now Botswana).
Wonder Why Noel has mentioned the false teeth yet, especially when he asked you once during one of the shows what you were grinning at and you pointed to me.

Bayete

Dirk


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