Hello and welcome to what I can only assume is Deal or No Deal.

Noel says some stuff which I don't understand due to the accent and here is todays contestant.

will.i.am!

(Did I write that right?)

I really hope we don't see another pre 5-box deal.

will.i.am is from London and is a mixologist.

Noel starts... I'm not sure I'm allowed to say on a family friendly forum.

He looks at will.i.am's pictures. The first is of a woman in a bed strangling him. I think there's also a baby there. They aren't present due to illness but apparently they're fit and well.

Then there's a photo that makes everyone go "awwww".

will confirms he's happy to continue. But not before Noel talks about his cows.

Fastest dash down the walk of wealth ever! Good luck to my namesake.

Had £20,000 yesterday.

Will he be bothered about five box?

It's NIC.HOLA.S, or William. Whichever, really!

Round One

Box 1 is being saved and we are promised a story later.

7 - Bryan - £50

11 - Michelle - £500

12 - Nicky - £10

This feels like it's going quite fast. I also am suddenly aware that I like his glasses.

will does what all music stars do and starts to trash the stage.

Noel, being short of a few marbles, starts talking to a light. And now he's stroking it.

Noel is now on all fours and talks to the camera. I think he realises he's going mad.

And now the BANKER rings with a joke so poor I'm not repeating it.

13 - Becky - He'd be hoping for the 1p here - £100,000 - or not

4 - Scott - Who is now dancing at the front. So much for me thinking there was a bit of pace to this. Ah, I think he's remembered he's supposed to open his box. So open it he does - 1p - Not my choice for the penny holder but beggars can't be choosers.

The BANKER phones and complains that it was the worst dancing he's ever seen and then makes quite a decent joke actually but it's too long winded to write here.

Banker's offer:

£9,500

NO DEAL

And break time.

Quick ad break today.

It MUST mean something extra is going to happen. A 16 Box offer? One box at a time throughout the game? FMQM?

Round Two

15 - Richard - £1,000

I feel I should point out that will has called everyone lovely so far.

16 - Katyee - £5,000

Noel asks will why he wants to go into space. will says it's because he's a fan of a certain sci-fi trilogy which his son Luke is named after. For those who haven't worked it out he's on about Star Wars.

21 - Justin - who is just wearing a tracksuit - £250,000

No male £250,000 winner today then.

That's the first time this week I've heard the sound when the £250k goes in live play during Dealfest.

The BANKER phones and offers money.

Banker's offer:

£2,000

Chances are he'll make it to 5-box now, but we'll see.

Because it hasn't gone in live play!

With £50k now gone, he may well be forced to 5-box.


Indeed!