Bert's game today.

Noel says what a week it's been for the banker gloating. He says Christmas has come early for the banker, and he asks for a Christmas gift for himself, which is a male quarter-millionaire before Christmas.

Bert has box 3.

Bert is from Fife in Scotland, and he is a lollipop man. He talks about how he breeds birds, and used to keep budgies. He says he sometimes has to bring his birds back to full health by feeding them through a syringe! We get to see a pic of his dogs and grandchildren.

Here we go...

And I fear there's gonna be more presents for The Banker, unless someone gives him a proper Spanking!

Round 1

Noel asks if Bert would mind winning the £250k today! Bert doesn't have a system.

8 - H - £3,000

18 - Israel - £15,000

Noel talks about how Helen has had a makeover!

11 - Neil - £5,000

Bert says OH DEAR, but Noel says the banker's always said if he played the game, he'd like to take out the top right first.

16 - Franny - £50

13 - Abbie - 10p

Banker time

Well, an average start there

Noel says that was a good opening. The banker thinks Bert is mentally spending the money at the moment, and Noel says he has a shopping list.

Banker's offer:

£7,500

Bert says he's waited a long time for this opportunity.

Bert says NO DEAL

Round 2

Dan now and we get a WAHEY as he comes from Hull

7 - Dan - £50,000

Noel talks about the head boppers Gillian is wearing today.

1 - Gillian - 50p

Noel gets Bert to call a break...

A hit, but only a small one...

We're back

Last box before the banker.

Noel says Bert's dream is to visit his 2 brothers and sister who live in Australia.

17 - Monique - £750

Banker time

The banker says the board is quite good but Noel says it's very good.

Banker's offer:

£10,000

Bev tells Bert there's at least one more round in it. Bert chooses a box before Noel's asked the question! Noel gets irritated and talks to an audience member about where they travelled from. Neil has to tell Bert what's going on.

Bert says NO DEAL

Oh Bev!!!

Round 3

Bert chooses Bev now, and violin music plays as Noel says how Bev could destroy Bert's dream if she has another big one in her box!!!

20 - Bev - £35,000

5 - Freddie - £5

4 - Harry - £100,000

Banker time

Oooh big ouch for that round!

The banker says Noel stooped too low by trying to upset Bev! He says how she's crushed dreams and could now be a divider of families.

Banker's offer:

£4,000

Bert talks about what else he wants to do with the money.

Bert says NO DEAL

Round 4

Noel repeats how the 1p needs to be removed.

9 - newbie Lyn - £250

6 - Bodie - £10,000

Noel calls a break, and says Bert could still win £250k.

Indeed, the 1p must be found next...

We're back

Last box before the Banker

2 - Vikki - £100

Banker time