http://kunderasostrich.com/facebook-sta ... eratr.html

Mine is

Jodie Smith still gets caught up in all sorts of cumbersome soup spoons

"Isn't so sure about moist gherkins".

Well to be fair H nor am I

Daisy Butler was sorry to hear about shaved limbs.

"feels the love for prosthetic pepper pots"

Eh?

"...secretly yearns for flaccid toe jam clusters."

As usual, I get the worst!

...was shocked at the price of gargantuan falafels

Well come on, they're up to £12 a kg. now!

Upon retrying I got: ...doesn't give a f**k about spiky pamphlets.

Aaron Brocklebank wants some snooooooooooowwwwww...

"may have to write to the Daily Mail about discounted ironmongers"

"may have to write to the Daily Mail about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross" would be more appropriate right now.

....doesn't give a *beep* about lubricated frogspawn....

....teaches a class on shrivelled genitalia....

Actually, if I did do the latter, my year 8s would probably think it was hilarious.

Funny, I have a lecture on that every Tuesday morning. "Sustainability and sustainable communities" is just a cover up, you see.

yes I also attend this lecture and he just sits there and stares at us all the time very strange

Maybe he fancies you both.

is actually comprised entirely of frozen envelopes

cookie_monster is looking forward to getting home to prickly y-fronts

...is not answering the phone, or answering the door, or trying to escape.

....still gets caught up in all sorts of cabbages

(I don't even like cabbages!)

.....can't help growing increasingly jealous of pockmarked cavities

doesn't give a *beep* about talcum-powdered gerbils

Daniel Dexter Karmy: just got a new job selling your sideburns
Sure did. Making some nice dosh out of it too, enough to buy a coca cola sweet
Property of Kelly Deacon: fondly remembers various soup spoons
Aah, that Kidderminster spoon No. 25693820 (white, blue and brown colours with the vertical scratch 3.45mm in from the left) was so nice...

Useless worthless down-and-out little mongrel dog with tail between legs and no-one, nowhere and no cash but a lot of unneccessary, unpaid debt: missed the documentary about five limbs
NO!! Really? Oh, I'd been wanting to watch that for ages...ah well, can probably catch up on it on youtube..