Perhaps I meant to post it, got distracted and forgot thinking I had.

At least you had the pleasure (if it was a pleasure) to speak to him.

Well yes, "pleasure" is one word. I wonder if Dirk got to speak to the banker.

Here's a picture of Dirk from the TV Mag which has a feature on DOND this week.

Dirk, you're on the RADAR!!!!

Dave was talking about a bad day at the office and Clare mentioned she may try that one.
But what about working at the Technical Support office:

"TECH SUPPORT – HOW CAN I HELP?

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah... thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah... that one does work...

Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Customer: Hi I have a problem with my Canon printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

Tech support: Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'... on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Here's another bad day at the office...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhnLZ3Ry ... re=related

Classic!

Count me in on this one....I was going to ask if Dirk had spent time in Africa (from the username), and i was right! I laughed out loud at his taunting on stephen's game...the forearm gesture! a local footballer (David Healy) here got thrown off the pitch for doing a similar gesture after scoring a few years ago.....red card Dirk

Ohh the war dance in Dirk's game was just fantastic, absaluetly loved it and is deffo one of the best moments of the entire history of the show. Just such a shame he only got 1p, cause if he had a strong board all the way through and a strong finish it would have been one of the best games in ages but just ended up being really crushing at the end!

I hope something great comes out of the show for him as he did seem like a lovely guy and lots of fun to be around!

I've just had an e-mail from Dirk! He's been on holiday but is now back in Durham. He's going to Somerset for a few days at the end of June, and will then be jetting off to Florida at the end of August for another holiday. He says he has been on here to read the games recently and so on, and may well come back on to post some more jokes - yay!

In the mean time, he asked me to pass this joke on (with his compliments!):

" A firefighter came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3 , we are going to make love all night.
" The next night he came home from work and yelled " BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled " BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed
When he yelled " BELL 3!" they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied " YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

hahahahaha.....

naughty but nice!!!!

Come back Dirk

I emailed Dirk at the weekend and he replied this evening - I'd not heard from him for a few years so wondered how he was doing.

Thankfully he's still well, as is his wife, and he's now 91 and is pondering whether he could still do the war dance. He's also been enjoying watching the new series of DoND!

God I thought you were going to say he'd died then H. I've just got used to assuming that when I see thread for older contestants from the C4 run!

Sorry, I probably should've put a disclaimer in the topic title.