Not at all. But he won't fail anyway, so it's all good. He's given us the best jokes I've heard in a long time, and that takes a backseat to whatever money he wins .

Dirk, do you think Noel is a showman?

Dave,

No , I don't think so.
We have got to be honest and have to accept the fact that he is the presenter of the show and is also an entertainer.
And as such he has to make sure that he is in control of the show and floor at all times.
If there would be a situation whereby a contestant took over the show it could be causing a bit of a problem.
There are a very few cases known, whereby this did happen on some shows here and in other countries a few years ago, and the presenters had to be replaced.

Actually to me he came over as a decent chap and a professional in putting someone at ease. I noticed this with many of the contestants and I also noticed this when you were in the crazy chair.

Btw Dave did I ever told you this one:


"A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought.

(I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'
The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?'
St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!
'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...

Dirk, which countries did that happen in? I can't imagine it was the Netherlands (having seen both their version that is very much like this version, and the original Miljoenenjacht which is my favourite version in the world). I'm guessing maybe France or Italy?

One of the shows was a quiz show ( 1998 or 1999) I am almost certain it was ITV channel, there was also some quiz show on the BBC where the presenter was replaced as he had lost control of the show.
And over the years I have read of a number of other shows in some countries where the presenters (male and female) were removed for various reasons.

Oh, other shows, not Deal or No Deal!

Thank you Dirk.

Dirk, I always enjoyed our chats about Noel Edmonds. I'm sure you can remember particular one we had in the dressing room about whether Noel cared about what us contestants won! I also enjoyed asking you over and over again if Noel was a showman, and it ended up becoming a running gag amongst us all because you would always talk at great length about Noel. Good times... but for now, here's a joke for you:

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

'Come have a look over here,' says Paddy, 'It's Michael O' Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.'

'That's nothing, 'says Sean, 'here's one named Patrick O' Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died.'

Just then, Seamus yells out, 'Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!'

'What was his name?' asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker and exclaims: 'Miles, from Dublin.'

hehehehehe

...did Dermot tell you that one?!!!

No he didn't, but I've sent him some of Dirk's jokes. And no, we're not talking about ex-contestant Dermot.

Here's another:

Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager. When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said, 'Thank you for coming to the interview, but We've decided to give the American the job.'

Murphy, 'And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.'

Manager, 'We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.'

Murphy, 'And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?'

Manager, 'Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down, 'I don't know.'

You put down, 'Neither do I.'

hahahaha thats a good un too!!!
im enjoying these!

Miriam was having trouble with her computer. So Miriam called Malcolm the computer wiz-kid and asked him to come over and look at her computer. Malcolm clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

Malcolm gave Miriam a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, Miriam called after him, 'So, what was wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' Miriam didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? Malcolm, what does that error mean, just in case I need to fix it again?'

Malcolm grinned, 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'

'No,' Miriam replied.

'Write it down, 'he said, 'and Miriam think you'll figure it out.'

So Miriam wrote down...... I D 1 0 T.

thats a ckeey one!! hehe!!! you have loads tonight!! you're on form; you must have missed me last night and are making up for it now im back!

Bad day at the office - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qKxSf5SNj0

hehehe i might try that at work tomorrow!!!! it would make me feel a whole lot better for sure!!!

I imagine that must be how the Banker feels when someone wins a lot of his money.

Yes, I heard similar noises coming from the direction of the banker's office on 12th March.

I'm sure I posted a reply in this topic

Now either I did and it disappeared somewhere or I didn't actually post a reply or i'm just going crazy...

Are you referring to this post which appears above my previous one in this thread?

No i'm referring to the one after the post you made regarding the Banker (well the one I thought I posted). I remember writing something and thought I had posted it. I'm sure I remember seeing it posted

I think maybe i'm going mad.

I only commented on whether you had actually ever got a peek inside the Banker's office.

I don't think you ever posted it, as there's no evidence in the logs of it being deleted.

Anyway I did get a peek in some out-of-bounds areas, but I don't think any of them were the banker's office.