Box 17 - £100

The crowd is going absolutely mental now.

'What a start to this series this is!' cries Patrick. He can barely be heard.



'I don't know about you... but I need a break!' One duly arrives.

We're back with the Banker's phone ringing.

'Welcome back to Deal or No Deal... and an extraordinary opening episode. Ian is in a phenomenal position, with three huge sums of money on the board. And if he takes out the tenner, he is guaranteed AT LEAST £20,000!'

The phone is still ringing.

'Of course, he might have the tenner himself. Only one man knows for sure...'

The conversation is brief and nervous.

'Obviously, he has had to go up again.'

The crowd cheer.

'£90,005!'

The crowd cheer a lot louder.

'That... is a huge sum of money. But remember... only one to open...'

Ian asks Dermot for advice. 'You took a gamble earlier with a 75% chance of keeping the top prize. It's now at 83%. Even if we assume you don't have the top prize yourself, which I think is a safe assumption given that the offers have not yet really approached the mean, there is an 80% chance of keeping it in play. I would go on.'

Patrick asks for anyone else to speak out. Cyril does so: 'I don't know what I'd do with that much money, but you've got your life in front of you Ian, so do what thou wilt.' Ian asks for advice from a younger contestant, and Bill puts his hand up: 'Definitely No Deal, mate. You've got three higher and three lower, and only one crappy box left.'

'I think I'm ready, Patrick.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes.'

'£90,005... Deal... or No Deal?'

Not that long a pause this time, surprisingly. 'No Deal.'

'Now, you only have to open one box. And whatever is inside it will have a massive impact on your financial future. You have your life in front of you, now we need to hope it will be a prosperous one. And that depends on this box.'

'Box 7 please.' That's Caitlin, a rake of a girl with short black hair and an intense facial expression. Was that at all to do with the game?

'Open Box 7.'

Box 7 - £100,000

The crowd aren't sure whether to groan or cheer, so they just shout until Patrick gees them up by insisting 'it's good, it's good, it's not £500,000!'...

...'and you still have the bigger of the two safety nets left.'

As the crowd turns quiet, Dermot calls out that the mean has gone up so the offer should too. The crowd cheer.

The Banker rings again to a big 'ooh' from the crowd.

'He respects Dermot... for pointing out what he knows already.' The crowd laugh.

'And he has indeed improved the offer, but in doing so he has gone back to the way he was operating before...'

The crowd are confused.

Then, in double-quick time, Patrick clears it up...

...'He's filling in the gap, ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS!'

Dermot is consulted. 'Not much of an improvement really, so unless there's a special significance about £100,000 to you I'd carry on.'

Bill is consulted. 'Yeah, No Deal mate, even if you hit the big one there's still lots of money for ya there.'

'Bear in mind, you could still win just £10.'

'I could. But I could also win half a million. Anything is possible. I think I'm ready.'

The crowd seem to know what's coming.

'Ian... £100,000...

...Deal or No Deal?'

This time the response is instant. 'No Deal.'

'One more box... one more huge moment...'

'It's time to blow away the superstition. Box 13.'

A big 'ooh' from the crowd. 'Yvonne, then... are you ready?'

'I'm always dealing with pressure situations in my job, I'm ready.' She's calm. Not many others are.

'Open Box 13.'

Box 13 - £500,000

The crowd are suddenly hushed. Ian is upset, but not the most upset in the studio.

'Oh God, I'm going to be superstitious now...' cries Yvonne. The unflappable woman has cracked in game one.



'Still good money, mate,' calls out Bill.

The Banker calls. 'Obviously, he's happy. It's his money. But there is only one pitiful sum left, and only he knows if you have it. And if you don't, he can't be too happy just yet.'

'Not the end of the road just yet, you say? Oh, it's just the beginning of the downhill road to nowhere but doom. Well, I disagree, but you know something I don't...'

'The offer is £38,000.' The crowd boo.



'I'm ready,' replies Ian. 'Already?' enquires Patrick, shocked. 'For sure.'

'£38,000, Deal or No Deal?'

'No Deal,' he replies, as if swatting away an opening offer. 'And 14 with Ben please.'

Box 14 - £10

Suddenly, euphoria returns.

'WHATEVER HAPPENS NOW...' Patrick cries over the noise... '...WHATEVER HAPPENS NOW YOU'RE GOING AWAY WITH £20,000!'

The loss of the top prize is put into some perspective now.

'Told ya, mate' calls Bill, running over to slap Ian on the back.

The Banker comes in.

'And he's learned his lesson no doubt... don't kick a man when he's down, he'll just be more determined to get back up and kick you back harder.'

'Hello? You aren't accepting that?

...you are??

Oh, just tell me the offer before I die of shock.'

The offer comes in.

'Obviously it had to bounce back up...'

'To say the least,' replies Ian.

'EIGHTY THOUSAND POUNDS.'



Ian looks stunned. 'A-a-ask me the question, er... Patrick.' He can't believe the offer.

'No need for advice?'

'I... no.'

'£80,000... Deal... or No Deal?'

'DEAL!' The crowd are joyous. It could have been £100,000, we may find it could have been £200,000, but it's still a clearly life-changing sum of money for this 22-year-old.

'Our trainee accountant will have some serious personal finance to do now... £80,000 better off, a fantastic result. But now we find out whether he actually had £200,000 in his box all along. Ian, what would you have chosen next?'

'Box 12.' Gavin, a big guy with a tough-looking face and a tattoo on his right arm. 'Nice one Ian.'

Box 12 - £30,000

The crowd groan a bit. 'So, we know there was more in this game. You turned down £100,000, you took £80,000, and now...'

After a brief phone call...

'You would have been offered £110,000.'

The crowd groan a bit.

'But was there even more in the game? Did you sell your box for a big loss - or a big profit?'

Everyone focuses intently on Box 10.

'In your box, which you sold for £80,000, there was...'

...£20,000. Cue cheers.

'You DID make a good deal after all,' Patrick called out, and Ian certainly looks happy.

'We'll be back with another player after the break.'

That game will actually be tomorrow, though. But it will be treated as though Ian's game lasted 45 minutes or so, not the full hour-long time slot I've assumed.

Because this takes so long, as it involves both me fleshing out the characters and playing a full game box-by-box with a live Banker, this will be spread out slowly. Each segment - i.e. from one adbreak to the next - will be done in one day - an episode will consist of four segments. These segments may vary in length slightly, particularly depending upon the timing of a Deal as I will always call a break at the end of a game.

Was going to ask if this will be a series or a one-off! You certainly seem to be developing some interesting characters in the wings with games to look forward to already.

Best day for the site in a long while with this starting as well as Ross's games returning, the appearance of a couple of long-lost contestants from February and of course a great game on TV today. After all the recent nonsense up to yesterday I had been seriously considering not coming back!