There's a new C4 ident. How long for? Well, this only serves to clearly depict how out of whack I am.

Ey?? Recaps before the opening titles? Yesterday some poor man didn't win the £250k.

Ahhh, double trouble!

Who's taking the baton today! A rubber bubble of balls, names on all.

NAMES:

Fiona and Jenny

Jenny Stewart + Fiona Richie.

Obligatory pictures of the treasured back home. There is now a large screen in the studio where these pictures are displayed. This is all a bit 'waking from a coma' for me.

The Banker would like to conquer the ladies. Ho-ho!

They pick Box 22. BOOYEAH!

Right, wheel's are rolling, let's go for the ride.

Sian - 12 - £75,000.

Sian you terrible plonker.

Violet Snr - 13 - £35,000

Shirley not - 14 - £3,000

Red mist! #2k6

Clare - 1 - £10

Sticky kiss for Clare. Steady on, £10's still tasty.

Ann - 7 - £10,000

Blitzed.

Prediction:

£4,250

I predict £3,800.

The Banker is no longer Glenn Hugill, so I have no idea what to call him. Isn't it just trained lackeys now? They've just stuck the knife into Nottingham.

What is this now... a cannister? Flip this one a new hole. They're guessing offers now.

Anyway, the numbers men have decided to offer, for this rubbish-y board - £4,000.

I really don't know what's happening! Sorry, guys.

NO DEAL is the answer.

Time for a break.

This is going to be my last commentary, guys. It's like a whole new show, genuinely befuddled.

Did they get the button?

Nope, they went for £2,500

Coal in the boiler, off we go for part 2.

DOND is now a conventional quiz show for the next few minutes. Eight questions about Jenny and Fiona, to be answered by one then the other. Get them all right, or most, then it's a holiday for the two.

They win. A holiday for these two. I wonder where? They should stick them in my hotel workplace, we need the numbers right now.

Sarah - 15 - £500

Scott - 2 - £5,000

Tim - 4 - 50p

I'm not going to transcribe the phone-call waffle.

Do they want £8,000?

''No deal''.

Round No.3, ding ding!

Paula - 8 - £100

Renato - 10 - £100,000

What you gone do that for?

Time for a break! Inabit.

She's a bus nutter. Introduced herself to everyone on a bus once, recently too. When I'm on a bus, I am invisible. Only the driver may acknowledge me, once when I get off and again when I disembark. Get it right, lady!

Last box of the round:

Stephanie - 20 - £50

I've been tempted to come out of commentary retirement recently for one last go before it's all over.

I'm sure I'd be similarly confused by some of the goings on!

Third round answer @ 35 minutes.

I can see a 8 box deal...

Would they like to accept the third offer of £10,000?

(Ohh this music's new)

JENNY'S HER MUM?? Woah. Convinced they were similar age best friends. This either reflects badly on Fiona or *really* nicely on Jenny.

''No deal''.

Fire burning bright for round 4.

Mike - 6 - 1p. Does this mean full sex now? Oh no, still just a dance.

Violet Jnr - 9 - £5

Lee - 17 - £50,000

Exposure of the jackpot.

Offer 4 - a sticky £10,000.

The answer comes after the break.

Final break @ 40 minutes.

They're dealing...

I'd go on here, but it's obvious they're dealing.