Jacques's game today.

Happy New Year to everyone!

Noel's got his full beard and longer hair that he had during the live shows.

Noel wishes everyone a happy new year, and he says they've made one new resolution, and that's to create the first ever male quarter-millionaire this year! Noel says every single player this year will be a man and he says the women are actually men in disguise!

For the last game of 2011 - had the £250,000....

Any cricket fan knows Jacques Kallis, so of course the pronunciation is perfectly fine

Jacques has box 20.

Jacques says his name is pronounced so that it rhymes with "shark", because he is originally from South Africa. He talks about his involvement with gymnastics and dancing, and how he does his work through that. We get to see a photo of all his family. Jacques introduces us to his civil partner Michael who's in the audience today, and he says it's a bit of a fairytale as they met each other in the gym! Jacques reveals he had to propose 3 times to Michael before he said yes.

Here we go...

I guess they've started the whole 'today's player takes the first ball from the bag' thing as none of the players seemed that surprised that Jacques was playing !!!

Not sure about the cool blue background to the board either - we want players to go away with reds !!!

Which means sod all as the last game of 2011 was the last of series seven, which was recorded in April. Today is the first show of series eight, which was recorded in October. Also if Stevo is right then Jacques chooses his box at random from all 22 balls, rather than a selected/limited number.

This guy has got the most irritating laugh and his hair is annoying me too.

Round 1

5 - Laurie - £10

Noel says he's not used to seeing everyone out of their panto outfits!

3 - Peter - £50

19 - Ioannis - £5

10 - Snowy - £10,000

13 - Paul - £3,000

Paul reveals his new year's resolution is to spank the banker!

Banker time

The banker talks to Noel about his beard, and he said he toyed with the idea of a fuller beard in the summer, then it went away and now it's miraculously come back!

Banker's offer:

£10,000

Jacques says

NO DEAL

Noel says he can't remember if there's a break now! The banker rings and says Noel's old beard would've remembered.

Noel calls a break...

Wrong. It means he would have been the first male £250k winner, though probably would have blown the chances of it all away.

Hopefully the first mega spanking of the year!

Given that he was chosen for this game instead of that one - yes it does mean nothing. Unless it changes the way he plays this one (in any direction).

Loving the lampshading of the recording schedule in the first part today.

We're back

Round 2

18 - Angela - £250,000

Angela says she lost 3 stone in 2011 and wants to lose 2 more by this summer.

Jacques focusses on the £100k and £75k that are still there.

17 - Margaret - £1

Margaret says her resolution is to grow upwards instead of outwards!

David says he's a bee-keeper on a bus. He says he once put a queen-bee on his chin and loads of other bees came over and covered his arms and went in his ears!

Jacques goes for Bekki, and she says she has 5 babies and her resolution is to not have any more! She says she'll buy a TV to help her stop having them.

16 - Bekki - 10p

Banker time

The banker says most people have a sneaky drink in private, but David covers himself in bees.

Banker's offer:

£8,500

Darren reminds Jacques that he says he lots of money on the board, and Noel points out that Jacques isn't really discussing things with his husband.

Jacques says

NO DEAL

Well we can't have the "Jacques could win £250k" goading, so let's conveniently mention someone on the wings who has lost a lot of weight. Let me guess, they'll tie that in with Tabitha now the £100k is the top prize.

Round 3

21 - Renée - £20,000

4 - Belinda - 1p

Noel calls a break...

I'll be the judge of that.

We're back

Last box before the Banker

Jacques goes for Adam, and David thinks he asked for him. He blames it on having bee-wax in his ear. Jacques then goes for james.

11 - James - £500

Banker time