Steven's game today.

Noel says he promises a sparkling game after he's addressed the issue of fears and phobias. He talks about the current phobias of the contestants, including fears of things that sprout, a fear of balloons, and a fear of bouncy castles deflating!

Hopefully a good game to finish the week off.

Steven has box 13.

Noel apologises for calling Steven boring while he was on the wings! Steven talks about how he transferred from Scotland to County Durham due to his job. We get to see photos of Steven with his late mother and grandmother, and a pic of them on holiday in Blackpool. Steven says he often does charity runs for cancer charities, and has raised over £2,000 so far. We get to see a pic of his children, and he introduces us to his fiancée who's in the audience.

Here we go...

Round 1

20 - newbie Gail - £1

Noel says Gail's hobby is hiding in cupboards!

22 - Iain - £5,000

1 - Cat - £100,000

4 - Clare - £10

7 - David - £5

Banker time

The banker says David looks like Ronnie Barker playing a certain someone who works in a hardware store.

Banker's offer:

£6,000

Steven says

NO DEAL

Noel calls a break...

We're back

Round 2

11 - Gary - £10,000

Mark next, and he reveals he runs his own football team in Rayleigh in Essex. Noel then says DJ Steve Wright comes from Rayleigh, and Mark says he doesn't think he does, then says he's never heard of him!

18 - Mark - £50

19 - Daphne - £750

Banker time

Steven chooses box 3, then slowly realises it's time for an offer! The banker says that was a great round for everyone except Steve Wright. He says if Mark keeps laying into Noel, then they'll get on fine!

Banker's offer:

£10,000

Steven says

NO DEAL

Ugh, Rayleigh is one of my least favourite places. Although it was a bad experience in that area which was the origin of my DoND system.

Three blues, an orange, and £100,000; I've long called that an example of an average opening round. I was slightly wrong at the time - surprisingly, £20k instead of an orange leaves both mean and FD just above starting value. Then again, a majority of opening rounds are mildly good, and a minority are dramatically bad (because of how influential £250k is).

Second round shifts the game clearly in a positive direction.

Round 3

Steven says he's got a loan he wants to pay off, and he says they were going to get married in Mexico, until his baby son arrived and ruined their plans! The banker rings and says Steven's son is very inconsiderate and it's shocking, and loves how Steven's blamed his baby.

2 - Charlton - £250,000

3 - Andria - £500

Noel calls a break...

Before that happened I thought he might just be

We have a great £75,000 board here. Unfortunately, it's only a £75,000 board.

Unless he goes to the end, a moderate win is probable.

We're back

Last box before the Banker

Noel says the day of Steven's DoND audition was also the day he found out they were expecting a baby.

15 - Tristan - £250

Banker time

The banker talks about the poem that Steven read when he called the ad break, and he reads out a little poem of his own for Steven.

Banker's offer:

£10,000

Steven says

NO DEAL

Round 4

9 - Elaine - £20,000

8 - Kim - £50,000

16 - Shakira - £1,000

Banker time

Not a good round.

The banker says he'd like to be generous here, but he has an evil streak that's wider than Steven's, as he spotted Steven's fiancée weeping during that round and he really enjoyed it.

Banker's offer:

£6,000