Helen's game today.

Noel introduces us to some weird facts of the contestants, including Tara who has a gas problem, Fi who claps excitedly, Michael who has tortoises, and Gordon who wants to be a politician!

Don't mean to sound sexist here - but this is the sixth show in eight in which a lady has played...

Let's hope, though, that it's a better show than the last three - which between them paid out just £101.01...

Thank goodness Shannon was cautious this week otherwise this week would be worse than it is payout wise. We really need a game whether the player at least has a decision or two to make.

Helen has box 1.

Helen is from Exmouth and is a care manager, and talks about how she used to have her own hair-dressers. She says she's nervous and Noel can calm her down by doing what he just did to her out the back. Helen has her son and husband in the audience today. She shows some photos of her granddaughter, a photo of her daughter when she got married. Helen says they're currently in Cyprus as her son-in-law is in the marines. She also gets a bit emotional as she shows a pic of her parents, and says her mum is no longer with us.

Here we go...

Round 1

18 - Abbey - £35,000

Helen says she has a system but won't reveal what it is until after the break.

16 - Tanya - £15,000

15 - Fi - £250,000

Noel tells Fi to sit on the floor!

12 - Sarah - £750

9 - Harry - £250

Banker time

Even with those two blues at the end, it's still a bad opening round...

Helen explains that she got her family to pick numbers randomly out of a hat, and that's what her system is based on. The banker thanks Helen's family for the bad opening round! He also says Fi should've been treated like a princess, and he tells her to go and sit in Noel's VIP area. The banker says he'll give the offer in just a second. He calls the phone in Noel's VIP area and speaks to Fi and asks what drink she wants!

Banker's offer:

£2,000

That's some VIP area...

Helen says

NO DEAL

Noel calls a break...

Oh, please end this run of unlucky games. £101.01 won in the last 3 games.

What's happened to the phone in Noel's "VIP area"? It used to be a Swap Shop style phone, but it's now a miniature version of the main phone.

Mmm, bourbons...

We're back

Round 2

22 - Gillian - £5,000

2 - Anthony - £500

4 - Debs - £1

Banker time

Noel says the last person to use their family to choose the numbers went into detail about who chose what number, and Helen says she can't remember that! The banker shows us the OTT reaction when Helen's name was chosen at the start of the game.

Banker's offer:

£6,500

Isn't this supposed to be a family show?

Wow, talking dirty to the Banker did work...

Hugo talks about how Helen was once the voice of a smutty phone line! The banker phones, and Helen's husband says she should talk dirty to the banker, and it might go up! He then claims he means the money! Helen and the banker then talk dirty to each other, and she tells him how much this call is costing him. She then talks about a donkey, cheesecake and leather! Helen asks for a tissue as she's all hot now!

NEW OFFER

Banker's offer:

£7,000

All that to improve an offer she was never going to take by £500.

Helen says

NO DEAL

Round 3

3 - Iain - £3,000

Noel talks to Michael about his tortoises.

20 - Michael - £50,000

Noel calls a break...