Don't be silly. 30th February doesn't exist.

Liez.

Check the today's show forum. Emergency.

Update: Check DOND GD. It's moved.

Ooh... it's going on a forum tour.

Site suggestions & problems now... hurry.

Australia (the forum). Hurry. Hurry!!

Tip: Styles can be applied quickly to selected text.

Another random joke I made up :

What is a shepherd's dream car?

Heres one of my jokes.......

A man walks up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

'Why of course,' comes the reply.
The first man then asks: 'Where are you from?'

'I'm from Ireland,' replies the second man.

The first man responds: 'You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.'

'Of Course,' replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: 'Where in Ireland are you from?'

'Dublin', comes the reply.

'I can't believe it,' says the first man. 'I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.'

'Of course,' replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: 'What school did you go to?'

'Saint Mary's,' replies the second man. "I graduated in '81."

'This is unbelievable!' the first man says. 'I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '81, too!'

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much,' replies the bartender. 'The O'Malley twins are drunk again.'

Here's a few of my jokes...

There are a group of women sat in a circle at a womens' hostel, then a Swedish lady stands up.
'My husband told me he was doing no cleaning for me, and that I had to get up off my arse and do it myself. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I saw nothing, on the third day he had cleaned up every spec of dust,' Everybody claps. Next, A pretty woman from Germany stands up. 'My husband said he was doing no cooking at all. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I saw nothing, on the third day he had cooked me a gourmet meal. Everyone applauds. Suddenly, a rather obese Scottish woman stands up. 'My husband said he was doing no cooking and no cleaning. He said it was a woman's job. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I saw nothing. The third day, I could only see out of the corner of my left eye!'

And the next one...

What does it mean if you see your girlfriend/wife in the living room?
The chain's too long!

And another...

Why did the woman cross the road?
Why was she out of the kitchen anyway?!

I love sexist jokes.

Gary Glitter has been shamed yet again... this time by being caught in an England football top.

Haha!

Quality!

Police have re-arrested Gary Glitter - they found class A drugs in his kitchen, class B drugs in his living room, and class 5c in his bedroom!

Oh dear...

Infact, these shouldn't even be on here should they? people of all ages can read this!

Remove them if you need to!

Careless talk costs lives.

So does a careless Divvy.

A young boy and Gary Glitter are out at night, walking towards the forest.

The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"

Gary says, "You're scared! I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"

---

Following another arrest, Glitter faces the firing squad. He is allowed a last request.
He says "I want John Terry to do the shooting, from twelve yards".

HAHA!

Glitter is really feeling the effects of the credit crunch... he's having to charge the kids for sweets now.