This should be a larf. Post your favourite quotes from sitcoms.

I've got a few favs.

Baldrick - ...but i've been in your family since 1482 my lord.
Blackadder - Well that's why i'm so utterly sick of the sight of you
Blackadder II

Victor Meldrew explaining why he's climbing through his own bedroom window.
"Why do you think...? Because the lady loves milktray!?
For that to work you have to remember the old cabury milk tray ads.

"I'm not driving a mini metro, I'm not driving a mini metro, I'm not driving a mini metro"
I'm Alan Partridge

"The devil farts in my face once more!"
Blackadder II

"I've got access to the kids, but they don't wanna see meeeeee."
I'm Alan Partridge

I'm Alan Partridge:

"How many complaints were there?"
"50."
"Oh, your age!"

"Hello Susan...slight problem. I was a bit bored, so I dismantled my Corby trouser press."

"Let battle commence!"

"Erm...'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave'".

"He said he sells kitchens, right, for fifteen years, but he can't cook! Then he spies that cook book, right, and he says 'That'd be no use to me, man!' He's crackers, man!"

"Yes, it's quite nice...few too many blacks."
"Sorry, it's just that some people find what you said, you know...a bit racist."
"Oh! Hahah."

"What's your favourite Beatles album?"
"That would have to be......'The Best of the Beatles'."

"Would you like a Polo?"
"No. Yes. I don't think you should have one, Lynn, considering what's happened."
"Right."

Curb Your Enthusiasm:

"Devoted sister, beloved *beep*?!"

"Did you check the food before you brought it home?"
"Yeah, I checked it but I decided to bring home the wrong order anyway."

"Mommy, mommy, the bald man is in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!"

"You are a self-loathing Jew!"
"You know, I may hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish."

"OK assy. And what is that *beep* all over your shirt? You been scrounging around, looking for ass?"

"I got a red snapper that talks to ya!"
"You know what it's saying? 'I'm charging too much'."

"Well, your honour, I believe it would be hard to remain impartial, seeing as the defendant is a negro."

"He implied I was lying about my stepfather!"
"You don't have a stepfather."
"I know, but I don't like the implication!"

"Hmm, it's nice, but...not quite my cup of tea."
"OK, you know what? *beep* you, and *beep* your tea."

Father Ted:

"Did you bring the travel Scrabble?"
"Yes, Ted - I brought the travel Scrabble and the normal Scrabble. The travel Scrabble for when we were travelling, and the normal Scrabble for when we arrived."
"Ah, great!"
"Ah, no, wait a minute...now I think about it, I didn't bring either of them."

"Hello Len."
"Don't call me Len, you little prick!"

"Would you like some cake, Father?"
"No thanks Mrs Doyle."
"Are you sure? There's cocaine in it!"
"What?!"
"Oh, no, not cocaine...no, what do you call them...raisins."

"'Ride me sideways' was another one!"

"I hear you're a racist now, father! How did you get interested in that type of thing? Only, I don't know if I'll have time for the old racism...the farm takes up most of my day, and in the evenings I just like a cup of tea."

Plus 4298728942798427 more, but I'm bored for now...

Love those Partridge qoutes daniel!

"SMELL MY CHEESE"

Partridge quotes are awesome!

My favourite Partridge moment was the whole "Dan!" scene.

“Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! DAN! DAN! DAN! DAAAAAAN! DAN! DAAAAN! DAN!

No, he hasn’t seen me.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

There are alot of good ones from Extras. Too late to start thinking about them now but if any of you have watched it, you will surely remember this bit:

"If it's up there, I'll give you the money meself!"

Blackadder III

*Knock on door*

Blackadder: Get the door Baldrick!

*Baldrick goes to get the door. There is are a few loud bangs before Baldrick returns with the front door under his arm*

Blackadder: Baldrick, I advise you to make the explanation you are about to give phenomenally good.

Baldrick: You said get the door

Blackadder: Not good enough, you're fired.

--------------------------------
Melchett: Well, how about about a nice word game then?

Blackadder: Yes, yes, OK. Make a sentence out of the following words- Face, Sodding, Your, Shut!



Father Ted
Father Jack (on seeing nuns): NUNS! REVERSE REVERSE!


Ted: So, what do you think will be behind tomorrow's window father?
Jack: A pair of feckin' women's knickers!!!
Ted: Right
Jack: KNICKERS!
Ted: Yes Father
Jack: Women's Knikcers!
Ted: YES Father, message understood.


Dougal: Looks like an ordianry chalkboard doesn't it ted? *Wipes letters off* But, you can rub the letters off.

Ted: Dougal, you can do that with all chalkboards.

Dougal: What?

Just wondering, am i the only person who doesnt find Alan Partridge funny...?

No, I can't stand him

Some more Father Ted

*Spelt as pronounced, makes it even funnier!*

Cinema Usher: We have a special treat for you today. Our new French film, the Passion of Saint Tibulus.

Customer: Is it Subtoitled?

Usher: What?

Customer: Is it Subtoitled or is it dubbed?

Usher: Subtitled!

Customer: Jaesus! *gets up and leaves*



Not a funny standalone sequence, but in the context of Ireland and the episode, it is one of the funniest moments ever! You need to see it!

Father ted: we've got to lose the sax solo.