Clive's game today.


Noel totally messes up the intro today, and the banker calls and offers Clive Noel's job


Noel composes himself and then runs through the games so far this week, with Glen's horrible game, the terrible psychic Jules and then Stu's game yesterday...

Hahah that opening was legendary!!!

Clive is one of my favourite players for months so he better win big today!



Blargghhhhh

I can't understand what he is saying

Good Luck Longrunning Clive!

I love Clive's accent and his humour. Hope its a good game for him.

He IS from Bodmin....well Luxulyan's not that far away, isit?

Clive has box 9 today, and has an assortment of cuddly animals on top of his box

Noel tells us it may come as a surprise that Clive is a farmer Clive tells us a little bit about his farm and also about the state of the farming industry at the moment.

Noel asks about the cows that Clive has on top of his box, and they were given to him by his grandchildren. He then shows us some piccies of his family and introduces his wife and daughter who is in the audience for support today.

Clive says he will take today's game as it comes..


Here we go...

Good luck Clive! If it goes wrong it doesnt matter as were all gunna die soon arrrr

Pat did it again! Jive Clive will really hate her now...

Noel's overdone the mascara today I reckon.

Clive is a legend! I hope he does really well, a very funny game so far, probably the best for months!!

Clive says he'll need some help from everyone today as he is a quiet bloke He also says that he won't be walking up and down the wings today as he needs some new hips and asks Noel is he has any spare

Round 1

6 - 50p Lloyd

11 - £75,000 Pat

2 - £1 Geoff

16 - £1,000 MJ

22 - £250,000 Sue

Banker time

Bit of a poor start there... however it's not how you start... it's how you finish!

Nevermind says Clive...

The banker says this is the easiest offer he has ever had to make... Noel's job DEAL or NO DEAL Clive says DEAL


Banker offers

£4,500

Stats after Round 1
Offer: £4,500
Mean: £14,097.95
Offer (%): 31.92%
Fair Deal: £5,890.47
Volatility: 0.72
Redometer: -4

Board
1p
10p


£5
£10
£50
£100
£250
£500
£750

£3,000
£5,000
£10,000
£15,000
£20,000
£35,000
£50,000

£100,000

Have you been taking some lessons from hitchhiker42, Kes?

Clive says

NO DEAL

Clive is a much better host than Noel... atleast if Clive was to shout "NO! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" you wouldn't understand him!

Next round

19 - £250 Natasha

1 - £100 Glenis


Katie with box 4 next, but Noel calls a break and gets Clive to do the link as practice for when he takes over next week

Here's a spoiler:



Oh crap, I forgot to change the color of the text to white...oh well!!!

( )

We're back
Last box before the banker

Everyone is happy says Noel, except for him as the banker has offered his job to Clive Noel says he shouldn't have it on medical grounds as he can't move around like he can, and he then runs around the studio...

Clive changes his mind and goes for box 13

13 - £50,000 Claire

Banker time

We know, Davey.

And why is it always up to the banker?

In Sue's game it was up to the banker if she was allowed a mug, surely it is up to the finance and production team... oh yeah, the banker is in the production team isn't he. Silly me.

Hayley did write in another thread that both Clive and Orry make more appearances in the New Year, so maybe Clive does take over!

And Clive not giving a toss about the boxes is great too - and he's so right - thinking about which box to choose if you don't have a system is a bit pointless as it's all random...

Clive says he wishes he had more of the power 5 left, and then chooses another box! Noel asks him how many cows he has, and Clive says that he expects he's lost a few not realising that he has finished the round...


Banker offers

50p

Clive says

NO DEAL

Well that £50k spoiled that round!

50p should be easy enough to no deal lol

Hahah Clive is a genius he should play every day!!


Stats after Round 2
Offer: 50p
Mean: £13,522.51
Offer (%): 0.00%
Fair Deal: £5,682.16
Volatility: 1.12
Redometer: -5 (↓1)

Board
1p
10p


£5
£10
£50


£500
£750

£3,000
£5,000
£10,000
£15,000
£20,000
£35,000


£100,000

He's cursed now!!!

Next round

20 - £100,000 Mark

We ain't dong very well here are we says Clive...

21 - £5,000 Brian

3 - £15,000 Kenny

OH NO goes Noel

Banker time

OMG this is turning into a trainwreck. Love Clive's attitude though.

Clive tells Noel that there are no worries as you die if you do and you die if you don't Noel asks how everyone is feeling, and the banker says he took a while to call as he is making out his will


Banker offers

£3,001

Clive's attitude to this game is great! Die if you do, die if you dont

Stats after Round 3
Offer: £3,001
Mean: £6,301.37
Offer (%): 47.62%
Fair Deal: £2,462.95
Volatility: 1.02
Redometer: -23 (↓18)

Board
1p
10p


£5
£10
£50


£500
£750

£3,000

£10,000

£20,000
£35,000

Can the offer go down?

Clive asks for the question please...

Clive then says that this takes a bit of thinking about doesn't it, which cracks up Noel

Clive says

NO DEAL

Haha, my mum's got the hoover on, so I have to have the subtitles. Even they're in Cornish!

"Dunnit"
"Innit"
"En't"

Why do most of the amazing characters on the show not get the games they deserve? (one of the only real exceptions being Lance)

Next round

Clive says he has 4 more reds to hit, so he'll see if he can do it as he might as well

Clive pleads for the newbie John to give him a red!!!

17 - 10p NewbieJohn

12 - £5 Nikki


Simon next, but Noel calls a break for 2 minutes and says when we come back they might all be dead!!!!

There is then a contestant appeal with details of how to apply

One of the best break links for a while....

"Your going away for 2 minutes, in that time we may all be dead, come back if just out of curiosity"

This is one of the funniest games we've had for a long time. Just a shame it's not a big money game.

Artak and Orry were ledgends in east 2 but now we have a killer named 'SUE' Da da daaaaaaaaa

And even he didn't beat the banker did he?

What about Pat? and Claire?

No

Contestant appeal? And they've still got many waiting - including me...rotten, ungrateful little bugge...mumble mumble...

An advert for the Flying Scotsman aka Tom22 there.

Anyway, I hope Clive can win some decent money out of this!

Also interesting that the contestant hotline is open again.

Apply again!

We're back
Last box before the banker

The cows didn't make it through the break and are on their back!!! The animal rights people will be onto us now says Clive

10 - £750 Angie


Banker time

A much needed all blue round.

I love it. Just say no-deal hahahahahaha

This is soooo funny!!!!!!!!1!1

This is sooooo funny!!!!

Wow!!! Clive disconnecting the phone so he can't receive an offer!! This is the funniest game for months and months, and definitely in my top 5 of all time!!!

Hahaha we've got tooo many rules and regulations here...

Stats after Round 4
Offer: Arr it dunna really matter, BOX 18!
Mean: £8,570.00
Offer (%): 81.68%
Fair Deal: £4,159.77
Volatility: 1.04
Redometer: -5 (↑18)

Board
1p




£10
£50


£500


£3,000

£10,000

£20,000
£35,000

This is the best show ever!

Noel says he has never known a game like it where Clive has resigned himself to disaster and is now turning his game around...

Noel asks what CLive will do on Monday when he takes over the show, and he replies that he will rip that phone out for a start The phone then rings and Clive picks it up and hangs up He then tells Noel to just answer next time with NO DEAL and starts shouting it

The phone rings and Noel answers it, but Clive hangs up again and calls out the next box

Noel is not sure what to do now and CLive continues to play on

The banker sends out a note with the offer on


Banker offers

£7,000

Clive says

NO DEAL

Next round

18 - £50 Deano

5 - £10 Laura

I don't want the 1p, but I would like the £500 says Clive as I have had to buy more shirts and clothes than I have ever owned to appear on the show

8 - £20,000 Simon

Banker time

The link says 'this link is experiencing a higher volume of traffic than the allocated site capacity'

Stats after Round 5
Offer: £9,500 AND GET ORRF MY LAND!
Mean: £9,700.00
Offer (%): 97.94%
Fair Deal: £5,309.04
Volatility: 2.59
Redometer: 0 (↑5)

Board
1p
£500
£3,000
£10,000
£35,000

Wow how high? Fantastic offer, almost spot on the average!

Hahahha 'What a dope of a bloke'

Clive writes something down on a piece of paper and hands it to Noel He then says DEAL and Noel says he has written a 1 in front of the £7,000

Another note is sent out for Clive and he won't show it to Noel

Clive calls his daughter down and says to join him as she can be on TV and it's marvelous...

Clive tells the banker to make it £12,000 and he'll deal The banker calls and Clive argues with him that he doesn't want a good average for the board he just wants the £12,000 and he'll walk He tells the banker he'll have a good deal as he has the £35,000 in his box

What a dope of a bloke says Clive

Clive says the banker has offered £9,501

I thought Deano just said: Noel wants to see you go home with a Penny

Clive goes to the wings for advice....

Clive says

DEAL

That is probably one of the best deals you could make out of this game - fantastic player!

I'd like to actually see Noel try a guilt trip with Clive, I don't think Clive would take it!!

Proveout round

15 - 1p Danny

14 - £35,000 Shaun

I haven't made a mess of this says Clive

4 - £3,000 Katie

Banker time with £500 and £10,000 remaining

Arr that'll do!


Stats after Round 6
Offer: £3,000
Mean: £5,250.00
Offer (%): 57.14%
Fair Deal: £3,743.03
Volatility: 20.00
Redometer: 2 (↑2)

Board
£500

£10,000

The banker says he has a new respect for farmers

Banker would have offered

£3,000

He might have made a £499 mess of it though

He only lost by £499! It's not a disaster Noel!

Clive says I'll take that as well


Noel opens box 9 and reveals £10,000

Box 7 (Namfon) £500

Clive says he had a real bonanza on the show and he would pay £250,000 to have the experiance again

Noel allows Clive to close out the show for practice when he takes over the show on Monday

The single best show in the history of Deal or No Deal.

I8 can't wait till Monday We won't have that same annoying Essex boy voice but a cornish voice.

P.S That woman with the blond curly hair was in the audience yesterday Get out of there

We need an outright win...and soon!

But well done to Clive - we certainly won't be forgetting him for a while (everyone stop thinking what if the forum wing line-up competition was still going on now!!! )

I wouldn't go that far, but it was very funny.

Hillarious game today with Clive, glad he got a decent sum out of it, I don't think losing by £499 matters too much.

Enjoy the dosh Clive!

Well that was a fantastic show, and definitely either the best or the second best show EVER! I have always had Lance as my number 1 show, with Mad Sarah 2nd - but I now think it's Lance at number 1 with Clive being a VERY close second... and Sarah 3rd!!

Well done Clive on providing us with a fantastic show - it had everything -interaction with Noel, the audience, the contestants and the banker!! And there were some firsts too, such as the banker's offer being given on a piece of paper!! Clive's reactions to everything were superb and he was a really great player - one of the best contestants ever in my opinion! It's shows like this that remind me why I love DOND so much and will always continue to watch it!

I think it's rather ironic that a certain forum member said yesterday that DOND had become a dark and depressing show and they wouldn't be watching it again!

Best deal in a long time anyway. Great show.

Maybe Billy knew all along and was trying to put us all off in a bid to wow us all!

Probably, seeing as he's losing his job because of Clive!

Anyway, great game today. Missing out on an extra £499 in the box certainly isn't something you should be disappointed with. Well done Clive!

That was one of the best shows ive seen in a very long time!

It was sooo funny! Eveything that clive said was hilarious! Especially him hanging up the phone and then trying to get a better offer!

Well Done Clive on a fantastic show! And Enjoy £9.501!!

This game soooo reminds me of Diana's.

I liked:
* Noel not knowing what to do.
* Clive and all the funny and crazy things he did.
* Having a few negative shows counter balanced with this side-splittingly funny one
* The Banker having to write the offer down on paper.
* Everyone looking as if they are having fun.

I didn't like...
*Editing
* Noel trying to Put Clive on a guilt trip when 1p Went.. but the £35,000 went next anyway.
* Noel making a fuss of how he didn't beat the banker even if it is a £499 difference.

The Good stuff came in quality and quantity in this show, and the bad stuff only happened once each I think.

Thank you so much Clive for lifting everyone's spirits on the show, and here.

Enjoy the £5,501. You did deserve more, but it is a lot better than a blue!






I don't think I have ever made such a positive post

That was the most funny show ever, one of my all time favorites for sure! Did anyone notice when Clive was arguing with the banker you could just about hear the bankers voice? lol

Yes! I noticed that too! I thought I heard the banker say the offer was £5,999 actually...

Well that was just what the show needed! And it just proves that the contestant's character can make or break it.

Without Clive that would have been a pretty dull game as the boxes and offers were not kind. But Clive took over the show and made me laugh from start to finish. So many priceless moments especially when he said no deal whilst the phone was ringing and then argued with the Banker. He didn't seemed bothered when the reds were going and played the game with absolutely the right attitude. So much so that, like him, I didn't really care what he won.

As it turned out £9500 is a very nice sum indeed and they should pay him double that for entertaining us so royally.

Without question the most entertaining game I've seen so far. Brilliant.

I'd just like to add to that... I am going to put Clive in for a 10 in the popularity option on my top trump cards. He was fantastic.

Clive- what an amazing character!!!! Maybe he COULD come back and host the show for Comic Relief or some other charitable occasion- with Noel in the crazy chair, and the wings made up of memorable contestants?

Thankyou Clive, enjoy the money. I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Comic Relief is every two years; Sports Relief in its place every other year.

But it would be a fab idea!

I was laughing so much during this episode, the way he slammed the phone down on the banker, he was just such a character, and the show needs more contestants like him. I knew his game would be good, but I did not know he was going to be that funny and hilarious. Enjoy the £9,500 Clive, you deserve it. PS perhaps Geoff's and Brian's games might be good to watch.

I got a sore mouth from laughing so much! Thank you Clive for a great game!

tis is the best or stranges game i have seen since pats game i thought at one moment that clive was taking charge of the whole show,i thought is this for real

Best game since Siobhan's.

what a bloke

Would love to have seen the unedited version. Definitely one of my all time favourite shows.

Really entertaining game today, Clive was very funny and everyone looked like they were having a good time and was enjoying themselves. I hope we get more games like today's to come!

Welldone on that £9,500 Clive!

That was hilarious, I could hear the banker too.

"NINE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND ONE POUND" he was shouting.

My favourite show.

Correct the million pound prize is now yours

i thought he trying to highjack the show?

No, I don't think he tried to hijack the show- he just did so because he's such a great personality. This was without a doubt the most entertaining edition so far, and it will take some beating. It certainly helped lift the January blues.

My new motto in life "Worry or don't worry- we're all going to die anyway".

(Said in a Cornish Accent!!)

How many times do we have to point this out?

She. Has. No. Control. Over. It. Except. Pulling. A. Random. Ball. Out. Of. A. Bag.

Haha, that game was absolutely brilliant and probably the funniest i have ever seen.

Clive was a legend, a person you knew would have a memorable game from his time in the wings. Well done!!

[Although, if the presenter change did actually happen, i would probably switch off, there's only so much of that man you can take...]

WOW, this was the best game since Little Rich's on the 1st November! Hopefully, there'll be more characters in the next few weeks!

its contestants like this that make the show worth watching well done clive

I don't hate Pat I just think she is revealing to many big numbers

is that the right pat ? the old lady which noel kept having a go at

Who was who said they'd rather watch a massively entertaining character win 10 grand than someone boring win 100 grand? Well they're totally correct on today's evidence!

Shame they don't stiill do the LTL - imagine Clive doing the speech "Hi, it's Clive from the east wing here"....then the rest of it would be totally indecipherable!

Clive is right up there will my all-time favourites, not just in E1! I was absolutely out of breath by the end for laughing so much! And I was in quite a mood when I got home from work too due to being under extra pressure becuase of people being off sick, but I'm still in stitches now!

Well done Clive on...how much was it again, I've forgotten?

(Only trouble is now I don't have any favourites on the wing anymore, even though I do fancy a few of the ladies - no, not Pat )

Clive was an absolute legend. This is up there as one of, if not the funniest games of all time. I was crying with laughter throughout almost the entire show, it was hilarious. My favourite bit was telling John to say 'Best of luck' as he needed it! I will not forget this game for a VERY long time.

Does Katie, Clare and Nikki count?

You forgot Fon too!

What a load of absolute crap. Clive was a complete letdown from how funny he was on the wings, really boring and annoying and I was fuming when he dealt at a pitiful low amount. Losing to the Banker by having £10,000 was just what he deserved.



































KIDDING!!!!!

Nah in all seriousness that was one of the most entertaining games of all time, I think I'd put it in my top 10 shows ever which is mainly reserved for the big wins! I really couldn't stop laughing throughout, especially when he started cutting off the Banker's calls! By that time I didn't mind what he won whether it be 1p or £35,000, but I'm glad he won a red sum.

Well done Clive - I know I've said "It won't be the same without you" in a fair few Today's Show threads, but I really do mean it now, as this is now the first time in the show's history where there's no one on the 22 who's game I want to see. It had been hovering at only about 1 or 2 people since late November but now it's down to zero, but it had to happen sometime I suppose!

"22 identical sealed boxes, oh sorry... *ring* Oh for god sake, Clive if you still want the job you can have it.."

I sometimes say things straight after the show that I dont mean, today was an exception, what an amazing show!

I bet that'll be the last show ever to discuss British farming like that His attitude was just amazing as well, nothing matters as were all going to die soon! The banter with Noel was the best since Pat M was on the wings and it was possibly better... When he unplugged the Banker and then completely ignoring him and carrying on with the game followed by having a full blown argument with him was legendary. The break links were great especially "Your going away for 2 minutes, in that time we may all be dead, come back if just out of curiosity" Clive's reactions and everyone else's for that matter in the dream factory were amazing and made for a hysterical atmosphere.

I'm glad he got something out of the game, £499 doesnt make alot of difference.

What an absolute legendary show, one of the greatest contestants and the most hystericl 45 minutes DOND has ever seen. Well Done Clive!




Doesnt that advert say something about pain staking steel reconstruction of the real thing?

They're all nice but I'd never marry Pat for a million pounds. Okay maybe a billion pounds

got to be honist i'm right with you there,yes some of the ladies are looking very fit. notice how the camara man somtimes closes in on some of the fit women in the audience,he must fancy a few of them

I'm sure that helped them get chosen in the first place too!!

We've had a couple of female players spend some of their winnings on plastic surgery - maybe some prospective players should do the plastic surgery first to get a chance of being chosen in the first place? (Although if that is how they're being chosen, I'm horrified, and the presence of Clive rather shows us why!!!)

Crazy game, played sensibly, and he sold the box for - well - its value minus a transaction fee of £499 Glad it wasn't a disaster!

(And yes, Clive can have the job... he's at least as entertaining as Noel and 9,501 times more fiscally responsible!!)

Hilarious, especially the bit where Clive told the Banker to stop talking for a minute so he could get a word in!

Instant future DOND classic there.

Been looking forward to Clive's show for ages, had the makings of a classic and it didn't disappoint.

Clive - you're an absolute star, hope you buy lots of cows with your winnings!!!

I have to add my comment to Clives show!
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He seemed a little nervous at the start....but once he got going, what a star! Clive and I were amongst the 6 newbies joining dond in october, and at first he was very quiet and reserved. I really think the whole experience of dond has changed him, he as much said so at the end ' I would pay 250k, if I had it to have this experience again' (by the way I honestly think every contestant feels that way too, especially myself!). He does have health issues, but doesnt let them deter him at all, and I really think he doesnt realise how funny he actually is, he has so many one liners, that just crease you up!
Well done Clive, on an absolutley superb show, and £9501 is a hell of a lot of money, your a great guy and you deserve every penny! luv ya x

Ooo yes, I'm presuming he'd buy dairy as he was talking about the price of milk at the start and with £9,501 you could probably buy around 10 to 11 cows...

GOOD JOB Clive!

Clive was great - knew his game would have to be good.
Great attitude.

You still not used to all that *beep* Noel's coming up with thesedays?

I say we get the contestants and the audience to throw him out. And lock him out for good measure.
Anyway welldone Clive on a ridiculously high £9,501 and was it me or could we hear the banker talking? Didn't sound verry mean old drunkard to me.

I thought you liked that *beep*, being a Wakeyist. But I love the suggestion, and I'd love to see Clive at least guest host a show!

What I meant was Noel just seems to over-exaggerate some things way way too much thesedays. And as for the big reds, granted losing the £250k makes NO difference nowadays becasuse the offer's bound to increase anyway (or at worst stay the same). And why, WHY are they clapping it?? Maybe a few "Oh well, still £100k there"'s but people are actually applauding it as if it were a blue! I do believe what people say about being "sucked into the game" but not that sucked into it, surely.

Again welldone clive on £9,501

may by there just clapping to try & keep the possitive thought there

Yeah, but then they've always done that.

I really enjoyed Clive's game yesterday. He was such a character. It's a shame he didn't get more money, but it was a decent enough amount to go home with!

One word - classic.

This was one of the best games ever. There's not much more I can say that hasn't already been said.

Clive was hilarious in his game and his banter with the Banker was classic. There are so many moments that were funny like when the offer was written down on a post-it note, Clive demanding £12,000 from the Banker and saying he don't care what the average is and even hearing the Banker shouting down the phone to Clive

So many good points that for me this is one of my all time favourite shows and if I were to make a list of my top 5 favourites Clive would be in there near the top.

Well done Clive