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psychokiller

PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2018 9:15 pm    Author: psychokiller    Post subject: 03/05/2018 - Noel's interior life
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Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:42 am
Location: UK
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(It's a day at granddad's for Noel's doted on grandson, and it's time for the picture book to come out)

NOEL: You never got better than Bettie Page. Look at her here-

GRANDSON: She had no @rse, granddad.

NOEL: She does in this one, you little prick. Look.

GRANDSON: Low down angle, she's sticking it out. I can always tell.

NOEL: It worked for me, junior. It worked.... for me.

(With that, Noel's crinkly fingers start to reach dangerously close to his zip. He realises just in time that he's undergoing involuntary proceedings to rip one off that have been stirred by the adolescent memories that still remain in vestiges inside his mind, and thus curtails his grimy actions before they can be put to jerky motion)

GRANDSON: Can we put the telly on?

NOEL: No.

(And with that, the favourite grandson is treated to further images from Noel's personal archives of Bettie Page trying her damnedest to display any semblance of a bum whatsoever in those dark, dingy, pre-filter days.)

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daniel123

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 12:58 am    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: 03/05/2018 - Noel's interior life
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Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2006 11:59 am
Location: Earth. I think...
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You know, it's funny that Noel and his grandson would have that conversation - I remember going to see my granddad when I was thirteen, one of my granddads; I have three, but the man in question is bald, fat, thick and perverted, kind of like an English Homer Simpson.
Anyway, he took me to one side and said, 'here, do you want to see my photos from when I went to Amsterdam?'

I said, yeah, go on then, Bob, let's have a butchers. All I knew was that Amsterdam was a city in Hollandland, somewhere close to a big river. I was soon to be educated.

Click, click, click, folder to folder on his laptop, and then - wham! - an array of mannequins in a shop window!
Then, what's that over there? Is that a...no, it can't be...mum's back massager? Wow!

Those ladies are scantily clad, I wonder why they're glaring at the camera like that...hang on, granddad, this isn't an ordinary holiday you were on at all! You DZZZURRRRTY OWD MAYNN!

(It was at this point that I noticed the smelly rag approaching my mouth, and the world went white for a while. Granddad Bob was nowhere to be found, and although that last bit might not have actually happened, I genuinely haven't seen him since...)

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Daniel123 - 81st member of the Pat M fan club. Last-standing member of the 'Class of 2006'.

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum...have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.


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