It's a good purple shirt, it's an interestingly thoughtful "welcome to Deal or No Deal", and he's on the Hyperbole Express with Leo's comedy.

She had a box yesterday. This means that she has box 4 today. Will the power of Wakey possess her? Probably not, as she's got something on her box.

That something for Lynda Firmley, self-employed mobile hairdresser from Newcastle (married for 38 years to someone she met at a sauna!), is a green box. With a yellow handle. Good luck charm, because it's got a leprechaun inside. "How tasteful," Noel says, mockingly.

The photo is black-and-white, from her childhood, and she talks about how she put her head through the window as a child! There's a cut on her nose still, apparently, though frankly I had to look pretty carefully to see it. And I'm watching in HD on a 40" telly!

Anyway, we're done...

I just know already there's going to be a lot of messing about in this game...

ROUND 1

Noel talks about Lynda's penchant for leaning into the mic, as she thought it was broken! We get a hilarious little VT package to "It's Oh So Quiet" and she's handed a wireless microphone!! Noel mockingly speaks into his clip-on mic!

4:08. No boxes opened yet. Tipping Point gains another hundred thousand viewers.

Finally we pick a box.

Box 14 (Adam) - £50

She looks like a bingo caller with that mic.

Box 13 (Giuseppe) - £250
We could have the latest time on the clock before hitting a red at this rate.

Box 1 (Irene) - £50,000
Oh. 4:09.

Lynda isn't sure the mic works as it's got no lead!! Noel jokes he wasn't alive in the 60s Lynda talks about Giuseppe and then says his box has gone! The Banker rings briefly, and Noel removes Giuseppe's mic!

Box 7 (Waraporn) - £20,000
Opened about 0.2 seconds after the camera cut to her.

Lynda would love to cut Noel's hair!

Box 21 (Steph) - £100,000

Banker time.

Noel talks about the money ladder, and talks down the offer before cutting to the break...

I'm all for a bit of comedy chat, provided it doesn't threaten to distract from the game.

We're back. This offer might be lower than the total claimed at this point on Tipping Point (£1,850).

The Banker also picks up on the bingo caller analogy.

Banker's offer:

£3,000

Lynda says it's generous but decides to NO DEAL, declaring as much before the question (which is mocked).

ROUND 2

Box 16 (Danny) - £500

Box 6 (Gaz) - £100
This round is being edited down at a frightening rate. To keep comedy, or gambling?

Box 15 (Tom) - £5,000
I've seen slower proveout rounds.

Banker time!

That wasn't declared as a quickie, but frankly I've seen slower quickies, even.

The Banker talks up the 1p-£10 block, of course, which detracts from the hole in the high blues.

And there's a gift under the table... hair clippers! "What have you got in mind?", asks Noel; a double offer.

Banker's offer:

£5,000
or if she shaves Noel's head...
Banker's offer:

£5,000,000
Joke, obviously.

"Oh, and even if we were to split the money... no way."
Now the offer is revised...

Banker's offer:

£8,500

Again Lynda says it's generous, again she jumps the gun before formally confirming NO DEAL.

£5,000,000? *grabs shaver*

DEAL!

ROUND 3
Noel also points to the importance of hitting boxes in the top-left corner. Noel tries to turn on the hair clippers and is surprised to find they work!

Box 9 (Trev) - £35,000
Properly precarious board now. Noel says it's a "strategic loss" for that to go.

Noel at once says any £250k-high game is a good game and talks the board down. Lynda starts a blue chant!

Box 20 (missed) - £75,000
Karma?

Box 22 (Kimberly) - after the break. I typed as much before it was even called.

Well, it would be grossly unlucky to have the worst possible round now.

Odds of taking out the top 3 in this round -> 6 in 2,184 = 1 in 364
Odds of doing it in ascending order -> 1 in 2,184!

We're back. The good news is that Lynda will win more than the player on Perfection, who just missed out on £6,000.

Box 22 (Kimberly) - 50p
And possibly much more.

Banker time.

"Horrendously exposed" £250k, says Noel.

The Banker says this is almost as close as you can get to a bad £250k board. He's considering a three-figure offer and then hoping for a crash...

Banker's offer:

£750
And he doesn't just consider it, he does it.

"Is there anything I can do to make him feel better?" The Banker phones up, and speaks to Lynda. "Hello Mr Banker!" she says to laughs... oh there's no answer! She's shouting and eventually gets a response. She rambles on about knowing Noel for a long time, having watched Swap Shop and House Party - mention of Mr Blobby makes Noel try to cut the wire with the hair clippers! She keeps digging, talking about Noel's old fashion mistakes from platform shoes to clipper ties!

Conversation eventually turns to gameplay, and Lynda mentions the penny. If it and the 10p goes, "he'll offer me more money."

Again, she pre-empts the question before saying NO DEAL.

Something feels really strange about todays game...