Countdown

There are many things that Nick Hewer is lacking - one of the main things is a personality. And warmth. I mean, I would welcome back Michael Barrymore onto our screens to take the Countdown hosting job ! Poor Susie Dent, not only is she stuck with Alan's chum for the time being, but she has apparent problems with her eyes in today's show, wearing dark glasses to cover them. OK, here we go...

...wait, hang on...

Oh, wrong show ! Don't know what happened there...


Right, it's Monday in the dream factory !

Noel talks about how Simon nearly had a 'player spanking' (OPL in our speak). He gives us some lurid imagery on the spanking that the Banker must endure if an OPW is obtained.

Playing today...

Rock Around the Clock - it's (Bill) HALEY

Haley Proctor is a web chat moderator. She has got two kids and her sister, Bernice, is in the audience.

Her fiance is actually called Billy ! 'Bill + Haley' are the couple !

She shows us a photo, but I missed who was on it in sheer incredulity at Haley and Billy having names that can combine to create that of a pioneering musician.

She has Box 22

The last 6 times box 22 has come to the table it has contained a blue. A large red is overdue!

Haley has no system... but Boxes 16 and 3 are being kept for now

John (Box 1) - £250,000

Haley is gutted ! The Banker calls up and laughs at her. Sadist !

The phone suddenly goes silent before we hear the Banker's laughter again, Noel thinks the Banker had actually died for a moment there.

Oh, it looked like we were going to have THAT chant again... luckily, Noel himself said 'No' ! Driving home after Flo's game, he said he couldn't get that chant out of his head

Barbara (Box 21) - £35,000

Bob (Box 18) - £20,000

Andy (Box 20) - £500

Parminder (Box 11) - £1


The Banker insults Haley's hair - ''it will look super when it's finished''

Offer...

£900

Pretty easy decision... NO DEAL

Right, the simulcast messed up the opening round, so I'll edit it in later.

EDIT: Just done

Looking at the time, we may yet again, have another third round deal.

Right, sorry about that, better luck hopefully for the rest of the game...

We're back ! Fiance Billy proposed to Haley in Scarborough... in a car... pouring with rain outside. Oh, there was no ring too !

Ah, romantic ! Noel goes berserk about that fact.

Gavin (Box 13) - £100

Josh (Box 2) - £100,000

Apparently, Josh is now a 'terminator'. For having two large reds in consecutive shows. Oh, come off it Noel !

Steve (Box 3) - £50,000

That was her lucky number too !

The Banker is pissing himself yet again ! Cheesy nibble anyone ?

Banker boy points that Haley has 'disaster game' written over her. He says he admires Billy's 'romantic' proposal.

The offer...

£400

I think she'll deal this...

...she didn't

NO DEAL

Round 3.. oh, hang on, Banker time...

...he guarantees that £75,000 is coming out now.

Round 3:

Phil (Box 12) - £50

Newbie Caerwyn (Box 10) - £250

Will The Banker be right after all ?...

... find out after this break !

We're back !

Ah, first offer was only £900. Banker is in one of 'those' moods...

Robbie (Box 6) - 10p

The Banker has manged to get it up...

£2,500

Haley wants the money to go to somewhere nice and exotic (not EROTIC as Noel said ! ) and would also like to go on a skydive and raise the funds from that to put towards a cancer charity.

More of the 'samey' advice. Veronica believes that Box 22 must always have big money in it as it is the 'death box'.

Question time !

NO DEAL

Noel is applying a bit of 'Mally logic' to Box 22.... oh boy

Alice (Box 9) - £5,000

Sue (Box 4) - £3,000

The low reds ARE significant in this one...

Nick (Box 19) - £10

Just tuned in to see a scary looking board.

Banker says that the decision will be a hard one...

A cut and run at...

£3,750

£3,750?! CRAP OFFER!

Oh and the break before asking the question. *sigh*

Haley thinks her box has a high number in... well, there's only one left. You need to have SOME belief to get to the climax in that case.

The Banker phones and says that hitting ANY red that isn't the £1,000 will cause the offer to drop.

The question will be asked... after this break !

Only around 5 minutes or so to go after the break... so if she no deals, looks like it's going to be a big crash.

Or she is going to deal this.

I somehow think the Banker has got her nice and cheap. With that board, was worth going on for another round... even if there is a big gap in the middle.