Tristan's game today.

Noel welcomes us to the best thing about the weekend. He goes back over the past week and some of the practical dreams that the contestants had, he then goes along the wings and says that Lawrence would like a new roof, Clare would like an elephant, Daniela would like a new kitchen, and Emma would like a brain!

No mention of Friday's game - given the week so far, it's probably best.

Tristan has box 6 today.

Tristan says he is really looking forward to this. Trisitan is a field services manager for an energy company from Exeter. We see a picture of Tristan's wife, he has his gran in the audience for support today. Tristan says that she is a bit deaf, so Noel shouts to her! Tristan has a stone that his grandfather used to carry around with him for years, and his gran reveals that he just dug it up somewhere! Noel makes up a more dramatic story for the stone


Here we go....

Round 1

9 - £3,000 Lawrence

3 - 10p Emma

14 - £5 Mark

4 - £250 Charlton

16 - £1 Frank

Banker time

That is an incredible opening round says Noel. The Banker says he is very good as he had a great week last week, and he has already made money today by selling the rights to Noel's story about the stone that Tristan has. The Banker says that he is getting exhausted following the contestants around the hotel, especially Lawrence who goes around with his ghetto blaster, and he then asks if Lawrence will show us some of his moves, and then plays some music for Lawrence to dance with. The Banker says that was like a scene from the film Cocoon

Banker's offer:

£12,500

That is a lot of money says Tristan.

Tristan says

NO DEAL

Noel calls a break...

We're back

Round 2

10 - £75,000 Aqsa

18 - £20,000 Daniela

12 - £50 Clare

Banker time

Tristan says he still has a strong board. The Banker is not available, so Noel has to talk to his butler as the Banker tried some of his own dance moves but popped his hip! We then hear the Banker in the ambulance, he says it was a mixed round.

Banker's offer:

£10,000

Tristan says it is a good offer considering the damage he did.

Tristan says

NO DEAL

Round 3

Noel asks Tristan to tell the story of he proposed to his wife, and he says that he took her out for a meal and put the ring in her dessert. Noel says it was a bit more romantic than that, and then tells a more descriptive story.

15 - £100,000 Kim

13 - £50,000 Gail

Tristan picks Peter with box 17 next, but then has second thoughts, so Noel calls a break...

Last couple of rounds have not been so good

Tristan is implying he's going to be chasing the 250k - hope things start going a bit better for him otherwise the worst ever week record is going to loom

Another male player before 11-box claiming they are going for the QM. Sigh.

We're back
Last box before the Banker

7 - £10 Baz

Banker time

The Banker is now in recovery, and is lying in bed with his foot elevated, and in partial traction. He says he is feeling a little like Tristan's game and is a bit battered at the moment.

Banker's offer:

£8,500

Tristan says

NO DEAL

Round 4

17 - £100 Peter

It's a good job I went back there says Tristan

1 - 1p Iain

Noel gives Iain a yellow card for his 1p kiss, and Noel checks with the video ref to check if it was valid, the Banker then calls and says that he has checked as well and it wasn't a 1p kiss, so they have to do it again. Tristan asks if Noel would like to demonstrate the kiss! The Banker then plays some atmospheric music for the kiss and Noel asks for it in slow motion so there can be no doubt it is a good one.

8 - £35,000 Phil

Banker time

Now it's a one-box game says Noel. The Banker says it was a very passionate 1p kiss.

Banker's offer:

£16,000

Well, maybe Noel just didn't want to talk about it.

Not too sure whether or not those in the Dream Factory know that the lowest weekly payout is still possible - but I'm guessing not, since this is turning out to be another one of those games where the barrel is being scraped as regards entertainment...

£16,000. Almost the easiest deal of the week (but in fact, is only the 3rd easiest)