Caine's game today.

Noel says we're well and truly pumped up here and he explains that he's been speaking to the pilgrims and he talks about the various places they come from.

Caine has box 13.

Caine is an A-Level student. Noel shows a pic of Caine in a green leotard. Caine explains he was going to give a motivation talk to his school colleagues but no-one took him seriously wearing that! We also see a pic of his grandmother, mum and brother. His mum is in the audience today...

Here we go...

Time to end the week with a massive spanking

Round 1

Noel says Caine won't be afraid of showing his emotions and Caine says he feels like a different person since coming on the show!

12 - Adam - £10,000

6 - Ramesh - £500

Julie's back from being ill today and Noel has some banter with her about her being a farmer!

20 - Julie - 1p

5 - Stacie - £250

Caine loses count of the boxes and reveals he's studying Maths A-Levels.

1 - Spiro - 50p

Banker time

The banker says he feels old as Caine is one of the youngest players ever and his mum looks young enough to be the banker's granddaughter.

Banker's offer:

£10,041

Lovely start

Caine speaks about his Mum's age.

Caine says NO DEAL

Round 2

8 - Tom - 10p

15 - newbie Caroline - £75,000

Noel says that's the first real damage to the board, and he gets Caine to call a motivational break!

We're back

Last box before the Banker

16 - Chris - £1,000

Banker time

Noel talks about the ages of the quarter-millionaires so far.

Banker's offer:

£12,500

Caine quickly says NO DEAL

Evening, all. Crikey, it is nearly the evening. Doesn't feel it with this much light. Welcome to summer, and welcome to tonight's second-best DoND episode. What, you didn't know Miljoenenjacht is back?

Dear Caine. If you are to deliver a motivational speech at school in a leotard, it helps if you are a) female, b) studying at an American school, c) very, very skinny. Hey, I've gotta rev myself up for the feminist critique of the model walk tonight!

On the evidence of this first round, we might get a bigger win here than we do across the North Sea. Well, across the North Sea and a fair chunk of English urban sprawl from Bristol, but I digress. Opening offer is about what one would expect these days for such a start, if not a little lower; the inevitable reality check comes with the seventh pick, and there's no real shock at the second offer, not least in the edit leaving no time for discussion of the offer, but enough time beforehand to keep in a potentially leading remark about the age of Laura and Alice. Expected time to next 'no male has won £250k' remark: six minutes.

Round 3

4 - Liz - £50

18 - Ray - £15,000

17 - Beryl - £35,000

Banker time

Not quite a good round

The banker says he wants to hear what Beryl had to say and she says he's a credit to his age group and the media should give a more positive light to them!

Banker's offer:

£16,000

Caine says it'd take him at least 4 years to save that.

Caine says NO DEAL

Beryl mentions a teenager as a credit to his generation? I'm just imagining that Beryl saying that.

What would that Beryl make of a board this strong? Well, she'd surely be gone at this offer if she'd even allowed herself to be coerced this far; it's not good enough for the rest of us to go. Caine does show a reality check, recognising the importance of the money, so an eight-box Deal is indicated here, as very young players - like very old ones - skew towards either end of the risk-reward continuum, with middle-aged players more typically moderate players.

Round 4

Brenda is still ill today.

19 - Brenda (opened by Davinia) - £5,000

9 - Glen - £3,000

Noel says since the show began, there's been no male quarter-millionaires and he thinks Caine could do it.

Noel calls a break.

Adam pops up with a video advertising Easter Madness from Thursday.

And there goes Noel mention no male QM win, he has just jinxed the whole game...again!

Rattling fast edit between those two points drops a hint that he might just listen to the not-so-hidden message being dropped there... only 19 minutes between the game-opening post and the nine-box break!