Be aware that I may have to disappear during the commentary due to a phone call.

The commentary starts further down the page...

I'll handle it if you like... I haven't seen a show 'live' in ages and would quite like to again...

I should be ok for most of it but may disappear without warning.

You could always let KP do the show anyway...and you cover the all-important stats!

I'm ready to go on regular commentary. Let's see what it's like following the show rather than just the play-by-play.

Why are upmarket bathroom companies even advertising in this climate? Oh it's a half price sale. Was four times what anyone can afford, now down to twice what anyone can afford.

You can do it today if you want... it'd give me a break (don't tell Kes though ).

Advert for Desperate Housewives' new season features I Kissed A Girl in the background. Sigh.

Failure To Launch is an interesting one to advertise before DoND.

'It's time to play the game' says the voiceover artist. Noel's, or everyone else's?

I've not heard the introduction in that form yet, and it sounds stilted beyond belief. Also, these graphics look all too... slick...

Noel sounds WELL up for this though. He namechecks Bristol, has he done that before? He goes wing-walking... the West Wing has a theme. David wants driving lessons, Gill passed her driving test 29 years ago but only started driving last year, while 45,000 apparently signed a petition to stop Constance driving...

Constance says she doesn't want to leave Noel and play just yet. This is hysterical. She's definitely not going to play yet though... she might get a 30-show run...

CLAUDE is the player. Noel says 'this is the one I've been looking forward to'. No need for the massive spiral ramp we saw with Peter in 2006.

Difficult story...really hope this works out for him!

Claude Clayton (sp?) from Clough (sp?)... has Box 14.

Claude was born with cerebral palsy, and at the time very little was known about it... her parents didn't find out about it until he was two and didn't sit up... he says he's had a brilliant life with two lovely children and he's never let it stop him do what he wants... warm applause for that. That's unfortunately the kind of thing that's falsely equated with six No Deals...

Alex is introduced. As is a bizarre story about trying to go to a youth club with facial hair drawn on...

This sounds very bizarre, but we're here for the game. Away we go...

Clowne I think, from what Alex has posted on the forum about it.

And I think Noel does regularly mention "here in the Dream Factory in Bristol" to answer one of your earlier questions.

Fun start there and a rather bizarre story about how he dealt with his first shave. Reminds me of mine... except it had something to do with a pair of scissors rather than hair removal cream.

Just for the record, I also used hair-removal cream first time...so shush!

Terrible start, but as it has been proved lately the game is more than capable of turning around!

System - 'not really, see whatever shouts at me'.

12 - Chris - £100,000

An amusingly disappointed 'Ooh' reaction from Claude there...

8 - Whitey - 50p

6 - 'resident Frank Bruno' Charlie - £250

11 - Ada - £15,000 - still applauded

2 - 'resident opera singer' Peter - calls for a blue to the tune of La Donna e Mobile - £20,000

Banker time...

Reaction to the start: 'Could be wosse'...

Banker says Claude is a man after his own heart - 'incredibly popular, evil sense of humour, 19-year-old wife'... his spanner's at the ready, as he's going to tamper at the wheels...

Offer starts with the cost of fixing the chair apparently...

Banker's offer:

£5,120

La Donna what?! Deary me, today's commentary certainly has an air of class about it...

My laptop turned on at ten past three this morning to install updates... one of which was for Excel, so let's hope these stats are working properly.


Stats after Round 1
Offer: £5,120
Mean: £25,318.59
Offer (%): 20.22%
Fair Deal: £7,944.99
Cash left on board: £430,416.11
Volatility: 1.39
Board balance: -9

Board
1p
10p

£1
£5
£10
£50
£100

£500
£750
£1,000
£3,000
£5,000
£10,000


£35,000
£50,000
£75,000

£250,000
Guide to Stats

'Not a bad offer for fost 'un'...

Claude says NO DEAL

Lovely Derbyshire accent there!

Shame the game isn't exactly going well...

5 - Lee - £10

18 - Martin - £35,000

Noel points out the big hole in the reds...

3 - 'resident curly-haired lady' Ann - after the break

Awwww Claude is a funny guy... melikes him.

Adwatch: Morrisons plays to nationalist fervour by mentioning its 100% British meat supplies with Take That in the background for no adequately explored reason... a massively overlong advert for AXA, not mentioning once they're an insurer... William Hill bingo advertises to women and the gambleaware.co.uk URL couldn't be made much smaller... ADT put their address in a bigger font throughout the advert along with their logo, something I thought only happened in the States...