Denis' game today!! YAY!!!

Noel whispers the intro today!! The camera starts off by zoomed onto Artak's box 19... Noel welcomes us to the show and he welcomes us in particular as we engage in the show... he says we have sorrow for Tink and a lot of people would have thought Tink would no deal her final offer.

Ah the turn of our thespian, lets hope he has a Mid Summers Nights Dream... (Thats the worst joke I'll ever make on here)

Haha!! Dennis: "Look at your age, all your hair still"

Noel asks Denis to come out for his grand premiere!!!

Denis has box 9 today!

Denis says his box is lovely! He says he is excited... Denis says something at his back is dangling and it's his shirt! Noel said he liked the idea of Denis being a retired thesbian, but he's actually a retired international telephone exchange operator... he has been a grocer, a ladies hairdresser and he worked in the RAF as a worker in the control tower - Denis said he didn't do all the jobs at once! Denis says he supplied the weather reports in the control tower... everyone laughs and Denis asks what's funny!!

After the RAF, he did hairdressing... Denis says look at our hair and Noel asks not to pick on his hair Denis says "Look at you Noel, at your age, you still have your hair!" Denis says he still has his hair but it's a bit stiff and Noel says being stiff at his age is good news!!!!! Denis asks where were we... Noel says he knew it'd be like this

Noel says if Denis wins big, it's a waste at his age as he'll be dead soon Noel says that's what the audience wanted asking... Denis says he'll have a facelift and other stuff with the money so he'll be the prettiest corpse in the cemetry!!!

Noel asks if he's ready to take centre stage and he says why not... here we go...

Noel tells Denis to break a leg Has Jeff King returned?!?!

4 - Hilary - £250

20 - Jay - he says Denis is a star - 1p perfect

Denis gives Jay a peck on his cheek using his hand

18 - Phyl - 18 is Denis' birthday - £10,000

Denis says "Oh well, ok"...

7 - special birthday for Denis too... - Joe - £75,000

Groans from the audience, Denis says "C'est la vie" (or "Selavi" if you're Wakey!! )

1 - Olly - he says Denis is a jolly good fellow! - 50p

Time for the banker...

Noel says the first act went well and he has a letterbox on the board...

Denis speaks to the banker and he says the banker sounds like a friend of his who's dead!! Denis says he really thought it was his dead friend!!!!! Denis says he's spending too much time talking to the banker and he can't spare the time, so he hands back to Noel - according to Denis, the banker said if Noel and the banker had a child it'd look like Denis!

The banker says he remembers Denis from somewhere... from his days as an impresario... Noel pulls a scroll from under the table with 3 posters which have "Banker's Playhouse presents..." Denis as Hamlet, Denis in Midsommer Night's Dream, and Romeo and Juliet, starring Denis!!!

Finally we get the offer!!!!!

Banker's offer

£10,000 + 2 balloons and 3 weeks' notice

Well there we go lets hope the ratings are good and he gets high future offers!

Stats after Round 1
Offer: £10,000 + 2 baloons + 3 weeks notice
Mean: £28,259.77
Offer (%): 35.39%
Fair Deal: £10,253.96
Volatility: 1.08
Redometer: 10

Board

10p

£1
£5
£10
£50
£100

£500
£750
£1,000
£3,000
£5,000

£15,000
£20,000
£35,000
£50,000

£100,000
£250,000

That addition to the offer was in reference to something Denis said earlier about how he gets stiff at his age

Denis says it's a good offer and the banker clearly likes him, Noel says don't drag it out, we know what you're going to say!! Denis NO DEALS

14 - JC - Noel welcomes JC to the grand production - JC says he "hopes it's a blue for you" - £1

Noel says it was a BAFTA winning box opening

12 - John - £750

21 - a good age to be says Denis, he remembers it well... - Ashleigh - Noel says that box will be opened after the intermission, and Noel starts combing Denis' hair to tart him up a bit!!!

Back soon...

Noel welcomes us back to the splendid one man show starring Dennis...

Denis said he was tottering over to Ashleigh before the break... she says he makes her laugh so much!


Noel says he can remember the age of 21 too!

21 - Ashleigh - £250,000

Banker time...

The newbie looks like and has the same name as the person standing in E10 on the Comic Relief special!

Noel says he regrets he's not going to be starring in "I'm a Quarter Millionaire".

The banker says Ashleigh is perfect in her role for this production as she took us from comedy to tragedy!! The banker loves it when it turns from jollity to gloom...

Banker's offer

£8,500

Noel and Denis agree it's not a bad offer, considering what happened. Denis NO DEALS

Stats after Round 2
Offer: £8,500
Mean: £16,404.65
Offer (%): 51.81%
Fair Deal: £7,262.27
Volatility: 0.77
Redometer: 8 (↓2)

Board

10p

£5
£10
£50
£100

£500

£1,000
£3,000
£5,000

£15,000
£20,000
£35,000
£50,000

£100,000

Denis says 13 is his lucky number and he's leaving it until the end. He says something tickles his fancy or revives an old memory, he picks the number...

5 was Denis' first day at school... Sarah apologises for her bad hair day and said Denis used all the hairspray

5 - Sarah - £3,000

11 is when Denis started at grammar school...

11 - Loraine - £100

15 - the age when he started work....

15 - Debs - she puts on a posh voice and says "Darling Denis I hope this is a blue for you"... £20,000

Banker time...

Denis goes to choose a 4th box and Noel just stops him in time.

Banker's offer

£11,000

Stats after Round 3
Offer: £11,000
Mean: £18,778.65
Offer (%): 58.58%
Fair Deal: £8,048.89
Volatility: 0.94
Redometer: 4 (↓4)

Board

10p

£5
£10
£50

£500

£1,000

£5,000

£15,000

£35,000
£50,000

£100,000

Noel says Denis was up, then he went down, now he's up again... Denis already asks for the question and Noel says wait as the audience haven't finished clapping at the offer yet! He tells Denis to apply Eric's law to the offer and says it's quite a nice one...

Denis NO DEALS

22 was the age when he launched his vocal talents in the pubs...

22 - Terry - £15,000

"Never mind" says Denis

He wants to clear the odd box out the middle of the west wing.....

3 - Anne - £5

Denis shouts "YES!"...

Noel says he knows Denis is used to playing to the gallery, so now is Denis' chance to get the audience to come back for the final act of his play, and Denis says there'll be a small intermission and we should return...

Measure for measure this isnt that bad of a game. He has a very likable sense of humor as you like it. As long as he doesnt take out £100k in the next box the two noble kinsmen well be very happy I just hope its not much ado about nothing.