From Orlando, it’s the biggest game show in cable television history, where one person in one night can walk away with one million dollars. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Greed Deal or No Deal.

Hoping to break the Bank(er) and score a smash hit in tonight’s game is George Stakoulis, who enters the studio accompanied by his family. “I’m Greek with a big fat Greek family!” he exclaims. George is from Southern California, is recently married, and works at his family’s restaurant. He wants to have seven (!) kids and win enough money to support them. He gives Howie a good luck charm to wear on his lapel to ward off evil spirits, and has a second one sent up to the Banker’s office.

The earlier comment about wanting to have seven kids results in George picking the case of the same number as his own. Will he be yelling “Opa!” with a big win? Time to find out.

Round 1
“In the Greek culture, for good luck, we need to spit on the case,” says George. He does it and Howie the germaphobe reluctantly does it too.

[19] - $500,000
[21] - $10,000
[2] - $200,000
[16] - $200
[10] - $750,000
[14] - $50,000

Wow, that was a terrible first round. That results in a low opening offer of

BANKER'S OFFER

$7,000

George says NO DEAL as Howie throws to the first break.

We’re back. Before the second round begins, George is presented with a red case from show sponsor StateFarm Insurance that contains a guaranteed $25,000 to help George start his family. Suddenly, we’re playing Le Banquier . In line with Greek tradition, George and his family smash a bunch of plates on the floor. So there’s the smash hit I mentioned earlier.

Okay, enough bad puns. Let’s get back on track.

Round 2
[4] - $400
[25] - $500
[20] - $100
[8] - $300,000 - So much for that blue run.
[11] - $100,000

The Banker calls and acknowledges George’s earlier gift by throwing it in the trash. The new offer is

BANKER'S OFFER

$16,000

George’s supporters include his wife Valerie and his parents. After discussing the offer with them, George says NO DEAL.

Round 3
[18] - $5,000

Three more cases to open, and that happens after the break.

We’re back to complete the third round.

[1] - $25,000
[17] - $1
[24] - $750

Nice recovery. More plates are smashed as the third offer arrives.

BANKER'S OFFER

$51,000

That offer is just over triple the previous offer. But despite that, George says Καμία διαπραγμάτευση (Kamía diapragmátefsi). That’s Greek for NO DEAL.

The fourth round begins... after the break.

We’re back. “I feel like I’m on My Big Fat Greek Game Show,” says Howie.

Round 4
[26] - $300
[3] - $5
[12] - $75,000

The board at this point:

$.01
$10
$25
$50
$75
$1,000
$400,000
$1,000,000

Another decent round. “Greeks believe in luck, but luck can turn,” Howie says before revealing the new offer of

BANKER'S OFFER

$89,000

That’s a total of $114,000 if George accepts the offer. George’s mother suggests he make a counter offer, but he says NO DEAL instead.

Round 5
[5] - $.01 - George’s wife called it, and she got it!

We’ll complete this round μετά το διάλειμμα (metá to diáleimma)... after the break.

We’re back to finish the fifth round. George picks case 22, which is his birthday. “Is this going to be painful or glorious” Howie asks. Let’s find out.

[22] - $1,000

That was awesome. The Banker wants George out now, and doesn’t think he has the ability to go all the way. She offers

BANKER'S OFFER

$120,000

“This is more stress than having a baby,” says George’s mom. “Let’s go for it!” George says that amount would help him and his wife get their life started. The audience is cheering for him to go one more time, and that’s what he does. NO DEAL.

Round 6

George’s father-in-law says the $10 in in case 6. Let’s see if he’s right.

[6] - $1,000,000 - He could not have been more wrong.

The board right now:

$10
$25
$50
$75
$400,000

“You just took a big hit,” says Howie. “A huge hit.”

BANKER'S OFFER

$53,000

That’s $78,000 if you add the StateFarm bonus. Will George take the offer and salvage something out of this game or will he make a counter offer? We’ll find out after the break.

A $25,000 bonus for no apparent reason?????!!!!!

Good grief, CNBC is going to go bankrupt faster than HQ trivia at this point.

We’re back. Before the break, the Banker offered George $53,000 after he knocked out the millski in the previous round. If George plays on, the most he can win is only $75. George decides to make a counter offer of

BANKER'S OFFER

$75,000

The Banker calls back quickly and says NO DEAL.

Round 7
[13] - $400,000

Game over. We have a big fat Greek mess. The offer is

BANKER'S OFFER

$40

George says NO DEAL.

Round 8
[23] - $50

BANKER'S OFFER

$44

NO DEAL

Round 9
[15] - $10

BANKER'S OFFER

$60

NO DEAL

Round 10
George goes for his case and wins $75. The $25 was in case 9.

What can I say? George clearly suffers from Luis Greed Syndrome and got a fitting result. Thank God he had that StateFarm bonus to save his ass, becasuse it boosts his winnings to $25,075. But aside from that, what a waste of a contestant.

Hopefully next week’s player doesn’t have baklava for brains. Until then, good night, good deals, and remember - greed makes you bleed.

The first case of the counter offer luring a player into a crash. OUCH!!!