We're off to the races with another episode of Le Banquier. On tonight's show, we celebrate 30 years of Maxi with a special episode. Maxi, for those that don't know, is a Quebec-based supermarket chain, and also one of Le Banquier's 2,000 sponsors. They're responsible for the Maxi Case bonus that was introduced this season.

Julie Snyder introduces 30 finalists who entered a contest to appear as a contestant on the show. They descend the models' stairs, and Julie announces the lucky winner. It's a woman named Gordana, whose last name I can neither spell nor pronounce. What I can tell you is that she emigrated to Quebec from Serbia 14 years ago, is 27 years old, lives in Mirabel, and works at a movie theater in St-Eustache. She wants to win enough money to pay for a wedding.

Gordana wants to pick case 31, because that's the number that Carey Price, her favourite hockey player, wears. But since the cases only go as high as 26, she'll reverse the digits and settle for 13 instead.

Round 1
[18] - $175,000
[2] - $750
[6] - $10
[25] - $200,000
[4] - $150,000
[9] - $5,000

BANKER'S OFFER

$41,000

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 2
[12] - $125,000
[7] - $300,000
[16] - $100,000
[26] - Capital One
[1] - $25,000

BANKER'S OFFER

$43,000

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 3
[22] - $100
[19] - $50
[11] - $75
[8] - $400

Before receiving the next offer, singer Veronic Dicaire makes an appearance via Skype to award Gordana with a honeymoon trip to Las Vegas to see her perform, courtesy of our friends at Capital One.

And now, here's the offer.

BANKER'S OFFER

$61,000

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 4
[15] - Surprise | $500 - Gordana wins 10 million President's Choice Club points, which translates into $10,000 worth of groceries.
[23] - $20
[20] - $500,000

BANKER'S OFFER

$53,000

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 5
[5] - $50,000
[3] - $400,000 - Kiss that wedding goodbye, Gordana, because your game is effectively OVER.

Even though Gordana has won the Capital One freebie, we're well on our way to crowning our fifth blue winner in a game that has been designed to be as idiot-proof as possible. Even Julie, who produces the show, can't believe it. With $1,000 as a the last remaining red, the offer takes a nosedive.

BANKER'S OFFER

$650

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 6
[24] - $300

BANKER'S OFFER

$710

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 7
[14] - $0.01 - Well, at least Gordana isn't going full idiot. Winning an amount of money that's been retired for two years would really suck. In fact, it'd be the equivalent of winning a half-penny on the UK version.

BANKER'S OFFER

$750

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 8
[21] - $200

BANKER'S OFFER

$760

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Round 9
[10] - $1

BANKER'S OFFER

$800

Gordana says REFUSÉE.

Okay, stats break. That was a ridiculous AMO. The last remaining amounts are $5 and $1,000, and the Banker spat out an offer of $800. That's, like, 300 per cent of the mean or something. What planet is this show filmed on? Obviously one where people don't know basic math.

I should also mention that at this point, one of the last two cases is the Maxi Case, which contains a trip to an exotic location. Julie explains that if Gordana's case contains the trip, she wins that automatically. If not, she doesn't.

Julie then does something not often seen on this version.

BANKER'S OFFER

ÉCHANGE (SWAP)

But despite that, Gordana still says REFUSÉE. That means she wins whatever's in case 13. And inside that case is...

[13] - Maxi Case | $5

Case 17 held the $1,000

Gordana effectively fails the hell out of the Idiotest, has made a mockery of herself, and has made Le Banquier history on several levels. Here's the list.

1. Lowest amount won overall.
2. Lowest amount won through no dealing.
3. First contestant to choose one of the bonus cases as their own.
4. Fifth blue winner, although it's a technical blue win (see below).
5. Dumbest contestant.
6. Largest failure.
7. Destroying a format designed to be as idiot-proof as possible.
8. Rendering the host speechless as a result of number 7 (remember, she produces this show).
9. My first failure recap.
10. The first time I've insulted a contestant on this version, something that's very difficult to do.

This debacle has finally proven the true value of the Capital One bonus. As long as Capital One continues to sponsor this show, there will never be a "real" blue winner again. Case in point, Gordana takes home $10,005 in cash.

But wait, we're not finished just yet. It's time to reveal the location of the trip. A special case is brought out, and it is opened to reveal that Gordana has won a trip around the world to 30 different locations worth a whopping $30,000. What!

And that's not all. Because this is a special - read: heavily sponsored - episode, the folks at Nissan, in conjunction with Maxi, are giving our idiot a brand-new 2015 Nissan Micra. Good Lord...

Put that all together, and you get a nonsensical total of $71,903 in cash and stuff (mostly stuff in this case). What the [CENSORED]?!

Honestly, I think when someone plays a game like this, Julie stops tape, and then makes a few phone calls to the sponsors to ensure that if Murphy's Law kicks in, they shower the contestant in at least $50,000 worth of handouts just for showing up because they own her several favours. That's just asinine.

Okay, I'm done now. Ben, it's over to you now to dissect this mess. We'll be back next week with someone who hopefully won't embarrass themselves. Until then, merci, bonne soirée, et s'il vous plaît, ne soyez pas un idiot.

I'm speechless to say the least.

The fact that someone "won" $5 from their case but left over $71,000 worth of prizes very clearly shows how much this version deviates from Deal or No Deal as we know it. In fact, I would've done exactly the same as her on this version, whereas on any other version of Deal or No Deal I'd snap the Banker's arm off at 8 case and thank him for that absurdly generous offer. I understand having an extra gimmick to give the player a shot at a little extra money outside the main game (Box 23 on the UK version, Pachitos on the Italian version, and the Jackpot box on the French version), but surely you have to limit it so that players actually have hard decisions as there is a risk of losing nearly everything if they go on?

Also, Mark, there is a way for the player to not win the Capital One bonus, and that is to leave it as the last case on the gallery. They had a similar thing on the US syndicated version one week called the Splenda Case, where the player would have $10,000 added on to their next offer if they found it (and win $20,000 if they had it in their case), but it would be null and void if it was the last case on the gallery. That week, every player chased their game until they found that case, with all but one "crashing" in the process, but all them ended up leaving with $10,000 and change thanks to the Splenda case. Needless to say that they did NOT bring back that terrible twist for a 2nd week.

Has anyone had the capital one bonus in their box?

Nope, and no one left it as the last case on the gallery yet either.

We have yet to see this happen, but I think that if it did, the bonus would be doubled to $20,000, just as Ben mentioned above.

This is not the first time that a blue winner was given thousands of dollars in gifts. Earlier in the show's run, back when the Capital One bonus was a regular $10,000 amount, someone won twenty bucks from their case. But because this contestant was a bride-to-be and the show had a wedding theme, she won over $21,500 in wedding-related gifts as a means of negating the blue win.

It took several years for someone to break Super Fred's record low win of $14.22, which was accepted on a $5/$20 finish. He had five bucks in his case, thus making it a "good" deal, as he put it. I never thought it would happen, but it did.

And this doesn't even count as a blue win because of the Capital One bonus, which we now see can be used as an ass-saving device, plus the additional $60,000+ in prizes that was given out.

As a result, I'm introducing a new term to the Deal-related vernacular - Julified. This refers to any blue win on Le Banquier that is negated by Julie Snyder, the show's host and producer, showering a losing contestant with an excessive amount of prizes.

For the record, I remember that episode of the U.S. syndie Deal. The contestant was some dingus whose llifelong dream was to be a contestant on the show. All she did was scream her head off the whole time, and all the worthwhile amounts were vaporized rather quickly. In the two-case round, she opened the Splenda case and knocked out the highest remaining amount afterwards, leaving her with mostly blue amounts. The real offer was supposed to be $250, but the Splenda case turned it into $10,250. This was immediately dealt.

Post-show, a person named Andrew Bennett and I took this idiotic contestant to task over her "win" on the U.S. version's banker's blog. The contestant and her army of brain-dead supporters then defended it, but Andrew and I got the last laugh in the end. Much hilarity ensued.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to OD on brain bleach, because I have to be in top form for next week's recap. See you then.