Hello, friends.
After witnessing one of the worst weeks in the history of Deal, I figured it was time to make my exit before saying something that might get me arrested. Initially, I had h2005 close down my account for a few days, but thanks to a conversation between him, myself, Simon F. and Archie via Twitter, I realized that there was still one thing left for me to do before calling it a career.
You see, I've been keeping a secret from all of you, and I figured now would be a good time to reveal it. As I hinted to some of you on Twitter, this is something dark that has been relegated to the back of my mind since 2008.
Brace yourselves, because this is not going to be an easy pill to swallow. Here goes.
Many of you often become angry when I insult blue winners, calling them greedy and worse things. The greedy bit is more or less true, but I could've probably done without the insults. But there is a reason why I've reacted like this for such a long time, and it's time to reveal why.
Dateline, sometime in 2008. A then-20-year-old me is looking for news about Deal or No Deal on Google, expecting to find a leak about a big win or something. I find a few news stories, many of which are from other countries, and not in English as well. They're relatively mundane in nature. But then I see one about a highly controversial thing that happened on one of the international versions. Intrigued, I decide to read on.
This was a big mistake. I didn't know it then, but I would later regret having clicked on that link.
The article told the story of a contestant that had been on one of the international versions (I forget which one exactly; this was almost six years ago). He had big hopes and dreams, and had wanted to win money to help his family. This something you'll hear in almost every incarnation of Deal. He played a pretty brave game, and was making a huge push for the jackpot. Nothing could stop him, it seemed.
Declining the final offer, the contestant opened his box, and the jackpot wasn't there. Instead, he left with some very insignificant amount of money, probably 50p or less, if we're comparing it to the UK version. He didn't even stick around to hear the host's words of consolation. He just walked off the set, distraught.
That's not the worst part. You'll often hear stories of contestants wanting to have viewing parties with their friends and family when their show airs. So this person unfortunately had to do that too, as his family was expecting him to win big. But when they saw that he pushed his luck too far, they were furious at him.
Now comes the worst part, and believe me, this is not easy for me to type out, even though this contestant was in no way connected to me personally. After enduring much anger from his family, the young man fell into a deep depression, which was spurred by his family constantly reminding him that he had failed them. Eventually, he could bear the abuse no longer, and he chose to take his own life.
By the time I had finished reading that story, I was in tears. I thought, what if that were to happen on the UK version? It would be devastating. Words cannot describe how terrible that would be.
The show never did recover from that incident, and was cancelled less than a year later. The backlash was too big of a cross for the show to bear, and the the network it was on noticed. Rather than have it continue, they just put it out of its misery, which was probably the best thing they could've done.
Ever since then, whenever I hear about someone's game going off a cliff on this forum, I start to worry that the contestants might do what this person did. And as a result, I've been very anti-blue, and anti-greed as well. It's also made me far more cautious in simulated gameplay. I used to be a huge gambler, but this incident changed that.
Greed, as we all know, is one of the seven deadly sins. It has never brought fortune to anyone, only despair and failure. This week, we saw some of the greediest contestants in the show's history throw away thousands of pounds as if it didn't matter at all to them. They learned firsthand what happens to greedy people - they hit rock bottom.
Jamie Elwood, the most recent player to ride the greed train, went on the show's official Facebook page and defended his decisions against someone who would make our long list of banned members look like harmless kittens. Even I jumped in, offering to give him $1,000 and buy him a drink if he ever came to Canada. He said he'd happily accept the drink, but not the money. But even so, I couldn't help but think of how greedy he had been, and that he had thrown away nearly 19 large just to end up with crap. The person who played two days prior was ridiculously stupid, and deserves no one's sympathy. Even someone with a lobotomy would've dealt at 35 grand.
So this, my friends, is why I hate blue wins. The last thing I want is for someone to take their own life because they failed on a game show. At the end of the day, Deal or No Deal is a simple game show that has rewarded many people over the years. My only wish is for people to play the game and do well. Obviously, that can't happen to everyone, due to different personalities and such, but wouldn't it be great if it did?
If this recount left you with a bad taste in your mouth, I offer my sincerest apologies. But I feel that after keeping this secret bottled up for nearly six years, I had to finally get it off of my chest. It's not the most conventional way to go out, but then again, I'm not famous for using the conventional approach, especially around here.
Thank you all for your friendship, tolerance, humour and lessons. Believe it or not, I've actually learned some life lessons from some of you, and I'm forever grateful for that.
To h2005: Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your forum. I know I've been maddening to deal with at times, but you showed a level of tolerance that I didn't think existed. You also got to live out every Deal fan's dream and play the game yourself. Your game is my favourite of all time, and I'm not just saying that because you run the show around here. It was the most hilarious bit of television I've ever watched. Thank you for that. You are a gentleman and a star. Also, you bear a striking resemblance to my brother Matthew, and hockey player Sidney Crosby.
To Archie: If you don't become a contestant on Deal someday, it will be a crime against humanity. But if you do get on, please play responsibly, and consider each offer carefully before dismissing them as "bad" or "crap." If you adopt that mentality, you'll do just fine, and probably depart with a nice chunk of change, just like our root admin did. Also, funky shirts FTW. Yours can out-funkify those worn by Noel any day. See? I had to make up a word to get my point across. Please don't tell my editor.
And now, I'll leave you with this quote from Douglas Adams, which comes from his book Mostly Harmless. It's one of my all-time favourite quotes.
Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
My best, -Mark E. "Mad Mark / Hawker5ive" David
(P.S., for those wondering, the username Hawker5ive is derived from the Toronto Transit Commission's now-retired Hawker Siddeley H5 subway cars. I enjoyed these cars, so my username served as a little tribute to them.)
_________________ I have berated my last contestant and have nothing else to say. Roll credits. Fade to black. | Dr. Hindsight | April 18, 2006 - December 7, 2023
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