O YE, O YE! ROLL UP, ROLL UP! WHO WANTS TO HAVE THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME?

There is a position available alongside me, Yours Truly, as a co-contestant on the esteemed new gameshow 'Duo Deal or No Deal' - hosted by Archie, that man who famously played in the world premiére of my own version of DoND...and won absolutely nothing. I just thought I'd highlight that, to emphasise the drama and suspense. Not that there is any suspense, because the game's over and he won nothing, and he was always going to win nothing anyway because it was an online game...

but, yeah, anyhow. If you'd like to appear with me as a contestant, please do comment here, or PM me, or whatever - you can communicate spiritually through my great-great-uncle if you want, but don't disturb him if he's asleep up there, he doesn't like being woken up, and pass on my regards because he never ruddy well listens to anything I say - yeah, get in touch, if such a prospect appeals to you.

Awaiting you is the chance of a lifetime: the chance to say you've played alongsi---erm, ahem, aha, er, I mean, the chance to WIN LOTS OF PRIDE AND fake money

I look forward in earnest to your reply.

Kindest regards,

Me

For those instead (and the Banker ), you should know that Daniel would Deal £2,500 on a 4 blues/£250k 5 box, so you have to be willing to be uber-cautious if you play with him.

It is a rather exciting prospect, and not to rub salt into the wound, but you don't really have to try hard to beat Ben and David, the first, and only duo to play so far..