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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:08 pm    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Before I really introduce what I'm trying to do here, let me say that this thread is open to everyone who accesses the forum :)

I won't name any forum members incase they'd rather not have everyone know about them, but when it comes to Aspergers Syndrome, you'll be surprised just how many people have it nowadays. Never mind how many people on this forum have it!

One huge, and VERY obvious element we all have in common is our love for gameshows - anything to do with any of us joining this site in the first place?! :ponder:

Quite a few people with AS prefer to live a social life online, myself included. Sod what others might think about it being "a sad life", it's YOUR life - enjoy it! :D

Amazingly over the years I've personally been on here, I've communicated with quite a few forum members with AS, most of them also outside the forum (Facebook, Live Messenger etc)...it's common for people like us to want to make new friends; for some of us it is incredibly hard to do that in real life, so online it's far easier.

Recently (and again I will keep those I'm mentioning here anonymous), I've been hearing about different struggles for some of us. And that was when I decided for the sake of those who view this forum frequently, I would set up a thread designed to have us all (and indeed anyone else) pop along and join in some discussions every now and then.

Even if something as small as introducing yourself and what you struggle with, yet also what you do well with. For example a lot of us are good with our numbers and maths :)

So yeah, hopefully this will turn into something really popular. Looking forward to any input made! :)

Just bear in mind, this forum is viewed by guests as it isn't in the Members Only section...so please be very careful when it comes to posting personal details. Quite a few of us communicate outside the forum anyway but still tread with care. If in doubt, don't post anything. And if you have any other queries, don't hesitate to PM me or indeed any of the admins.

And lastly, enjoy yourselves! :smt023

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killersbee

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:17 pm    Author: killersbee    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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I think this is an excellent idea, I sometimes tend to think that Autistic people are at a disadvantage when it comes to challenging even the most important stuff such as interviews and performances (like I've done recently).

But with advice and support, we more often than not have a chance to do well, and sometimes even better than those who aren't autistic.

My family would say that they would've not been able to have done what I've achieved as of recent years and that makes me more happy than anything. So I reckon that we Autistic people can be an inspiration to others and give them hope as much as we get from the best, and following the advice that you're not alone and to always follow your dream. :)

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Skyline

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:51 pm    Author: Skyline    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Aah... I have it. Only mildly, but still.

I need my alone time every day. Three hours a day does it, otherwise I'm happy socialising. I try to go out every other weekend with my friends, but sometimes I like to spend my weekends alone - going to the music shop and book shop.

Like some Aspies I have trouble speaking sometimes. My voice is quite quiet (can't really be bothered to strain it) so some people find it hard to understand what I've said.

I have interests which some people consider "weird": I have a huge love for Golden Age Cartoons (Like Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, Droopy etc.) and I used to love classic video games such as Mario and Sonic (but that's kinda faded now). Numbers also interest me.

Some ignorant people say cartoons like the ones mentioned above are for kids, I say they're intended for adults AND kids. Four of my Looney Tunes DVD specifically mentions that it "is intended for adult collector and may not suitable for children". Sonic and Mario are games that can be enjoyed by all ages.

And to finish...
Some of my least favorite phrases are: "Get a Life" and "You're too old for x". *beep* off. :smt019

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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:17 pm    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Oh absolutely!

You was one of the few guys on here I didn't know for certain but had an inkling about, if that doesn't sound bad :oops: but as for being too old for stuff, try telling those adult nerds that hang out at places like Games Workshop etc :lol: never mind the conventions!!

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Skyline

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:33 pm    Author: Skyline    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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If they enjoy it, then so be it, they have to do it without derogatory comments from others! That's all I say!

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Simon F

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:37 pm    Author: Simon F    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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To be honest, until a few years ago, I didn't know a great deal about Aspergers etc but I've become good friends with someone online who has an autistic son and so have learned a great deal about it.

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RMF1254

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:11 am    Author: RMF1254    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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I have AS.

I'm hugely interested in numbers, game shows, video/computer games and maps - as well, of course, as buses.

As regards music, I much prefer Mike Oldfield, Sting and the Police, Moby, the Moody Blues, and KT Tunstall :smt055 to the stuff that dominates the charts these days.

I also like exploring - and do quite a lot of that whenever I'm in London, be it on foot or on the Underground.

I too have trouble speaking sometimes - I'm happy socialising, but I always want to find exactly the right words to say, which results in quite a few hesitations.

And I tend to get frustrated quite easily.

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killersbee

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:59 am    Author: killersbee    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Spot on about nerds who hang out at Games Workshop, I couldn't get into it myself. I also try to do a bit of socialising but this has become a regular thing to happen to me as of recent years, but I love it :D

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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:00 am    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Again another one under my radar ;) As you could probably tell, it's pretty obvious when it comes to recognising signs and traits of those with AS, especially if you can relate to them.

Exploring London, wow! I'd never been to London at all until last July, god knows what I was missing out on for the first 22 years of my life :lol: But I've started going through it; travelling to and from Victoria when it comes to going home to my parents, and this weekend just gone I caught up with one of my closest friends in King's Cross while she was down in London for a convention.

I definitely want to visit and explore more in the near future anyway - I was always told "once you know what you're doing, London is easy to get around"...but I don't yet so :lol:

Later on when I've got more time I'll post a bit more about myself, but I'm actually posting now to let everyone know where I'm going today - I'm off to speak to someone at the National Autistic Society! Back in Nottingham and Sheffield it was VERY difficult to get to do this but since moving to Hemel Hempstead I've really been amazed how aware everyone is about Autism in general, never mind how much everyone seems to know about Aspergers! :shock:

Catch everyone later!

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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:58 pm    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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OK guys today was IMMENSE!!! I've never felt happier in my entire life!

I simply don't have enough time to divulge in everything tonight but tomorrow I'll be posting everything both on here and on the AS Appreciation page on Facebook!

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hogwild94

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:10 pm    Author: hogwild94    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Hi guys

I'm new to the forums, and I have Aspergers syndrome. I was pointed to this thread by RMF1254.

I often think people who don't have AS don't understand it properly, so I do get a lot of stick from other people, who think I'm a bit wrong. :smt011

It's good to talk to people who do have it, and therefore understand it! :D

Thanks!
Jack

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Last edited by hogwild94 on Mon May 30, 2011 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:40 pm    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Hi Jack, welcome to the forums! :D

Feel free to talk about anything AS-related in here, we'll always be about to drop by and talk :)

Now yes, about where I went last week...

I went to see someone from the National Autistic Society, something I'd been wanting to do from the age of 16 but while living in Nottingham and Sheffield it was very difficult to do so. I've been living in Hemel Hempstead since December and since being down here I was very quickly shown the way to the local centre down here.

First of all, it seems Aspergers was studied the most and originally, down here. That would explain why everyone I've met down here knows all about it! In relation to when I was elsewhere and having to explain everything about it to most people I met. Yes Aspergers was coined in America but in terms of the UK it was West Hertfordshire that began studying it properly.

Anyway, the man I met, a 30-something Aspie...it was meant to be a professional chat but turned out to be a personal one. Everything I wanted to talk about just came out naturally and the chat ended up lasting a good hour and a half.

If anyone wants to talk to me about it properly, try to get in touch otherwise I'm going to end up going off on different tangents in here, there was so much :lol: But here's a few things that were mentioned:

1) More and more employers ARE now aware of AS...but unfortunately the majority of them are still treating anyone with it as a walking timebomb in terms of what former employers with AS did (eg having a meltdown, messing up on their duties when working under pressure etc)...it works both ways I guess because they can identify our weaknesses but it also goes against them because they're being steered away from hiring Aspies to work for their company, which really needs to change very soon!

2) KB will want to pay attention to this one. UNIVERSITY. Same story; they know Aspies will struggle and therefore will either sweep you under the doormat and be away with you, OR they will recognise you are still intelligent enough to warrant a place in their university (most universities need you to have plenty of UCAS points so you'd have needed to do well in college to even get to this stage!) and therefore offer you what help they're capable of giving you :) Don't give up!

3) Days you need your privacy. Skyline touched on this. The textbook Aspie enjoys the life of a loner. Nowadays that's as far from the truth as possible. Most of us WANT to be accepted as "normal" and fit in with a crowd. Most of us want a social life. Most of us want a life. But even after all of this, there will come a time when everything just feels too much and one of two things will happen...either you'll burn out and cause a big mess around you (eg a job being lost, friends being lost), or you will want to be on your own for a bit until you feel good enough to get back out there. Don't feel bad about this, some people need a lot of alone time, some only need a little...but you're entitled to your own human rights and needs. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. And if you are afraid, don't worry. Hopefully someone else who knows you will recognise the fact you need a break and will be there to help you get it :)

4) Sexual relationships. Some of you might be too young to fully recognise this but for everyone else I wanted to mention this to keep you all aware. Yes you will be crap at them. Get used to it. But don't get used to the fact that you're "different". EVERYONE has difficulty when they're in a relationship. For example someone with BPD will constantly be paranoid that their Significant Other* is being unfaithful and or isn't interested anymore if anything remotely changes from what they're used to. You'll simply learn, just like everyone else, what not to do, and what to do. You won't make it straightaway but that's half the fun of finding The One. You're meant to have your heart broken in the build-up so you're braced for the more challenging times ahead in life. More better prepared to fight for him/her when things go sour.

A few of us have had REAL difficulties with relationships and wanting to be more than friends with someone you really feel comfortable around and or really like them. Don't be afraid to talk to us even if you just want to vent :)

In all of this, and bad experiences I have NOT become a cynic. But I have definitely been there, done it all. Involved with a married woman, you name it. I'm not proud of myself, but I've learned from everything that has happened and has gone wrong. :)

Speak again soon!!

* = Significant Other...a term coined by forum member KP, a fellow Aspie.

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daniel123

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:00 am    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Aah, Mr Davey! Hw coincidental you should start the thread just as my interest in the site, and all of you lot, begins to grow again! Well, I lie, it hasn't, not by much anyway. But I'm terrifically bored at the moment.

Thought I should put my bit in here, as mine would be the most unlikely case of Aspergers there was. I was very nearly diagnosed myself, albeit not high on the "scale" or whatever instrument they use, when I was 10. At this point...I was your stereotypical Aspie through and through. I had a habit of looking at old coins on eBay, I still had an intense interest in classic cars, scrapyards and the like...heck, I had collected about eleventy-seven thousand tax discs for the last year and a half. No friends, no want for friends, all of it. I'm surprised my "therapist" (Who, due to other problems I'm still in occasional contact with) didn't tick every criteria box on her sheet. Actually, avec le hindsight, she probably did - just didn't tell me..

And yet, in early April, I found myself gazing at row upon row of schoolchildren, in our massive hall one Monday morning. I was on stage, readying myself for the biggest performance I'd given so far. We were having an "awards assembly"...and I was our host. By this point, I'd spent the past two years establishing myself in local folklore through various acts and speeches and suchlike...and I was a character completely different to that 10 year old boy. I'll cut to the quick, the thing went blisteringly well, I went off to the most rapturous applause I'd ever heard or seen, and I was ecstatic. I'd been infront of the same people before, in a group assembly a few months previously...and that had come just a few months after I'd taught my GCSE English class for 4 or 5 lessons in November. The last of which had shattered me completely - I'd flipped after I'd been talked over, leaving the place in tears...learn from your mistakes, I suppose. Confidence had been nil after that...and then I'd found myself where I've been, doing what I've been doing.

Therein lies the solution - that word, confidence. I reckon I'm still the same guy I was. Football is what has its grip on me now, and has done for a long time. I won't deny that, but I'm happy as most men seem to be obsessed with the beautiful game anyway.
But I never want to "fit in". I want to stand out, to be the maverick figure, to be admired for that. That's the way I've been, naturally, so I won't change that. But it's confidence, that inspires people. To do things they hadn't dreamt of before.
You don't have confidence - and you're back to the typical AS guy. Self-believing - I have never doubted that I was right, to ask for no diagnosis - and all the rest of those motivational feelings...and I reckon "we" change dramatically. Fair enough, I was in a relationship in the summer, which was great while I was still in Spain...but is it a coincidence that the last week of that, when I was with her, ended horribly? Fair enough, I don't have friends who are round, and I don't go out apart from to go and buy a curry, because my camera is dead.
And fair enough, I like to predict every single score there is in England, on a Saturday, all the way down to the Evo-Stik League. But hey...I'm proud that I put Chasetown to win 6-0 today - and got it spot-on, right down to the score itself. Not many of us get a 6-0 scoreline right...

But...I don't consider it, to be honest, as.... important, at all. I don't see it as life-changing, or life-stunting, or hindering in any way, at this moment, really. I think it's not about accepting it...but forgetting all about it.



Maybe I've been fortunate - but maybe not... I'm just as outgoing and "normal" now as I was in 2005. Not at all.

I'm not sure why I've come on here at 1 AM really. I'm not even sure if any of this means very much, but..... I hope my idea of focusing on other things, & proving those people, your doubters, absolutely wrong, and proving you can be who you are anyway....I hope that gives a new light on the subject.

If not, er...give us a call ASAP.

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Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.


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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:03 pm    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Brilliant read. Simply brilliant.

Obviously it's a lot easier to sound so much more grown up on the internet but you've always managed it since I can remember.

First thing's first...well done for overcoming your troubles from before...even if it's not "mission accomplished" just yet, you sound so much more positive about life than you did back then. Yes growing up is all about learning the hard way. You never learn everything in life; every day brings new lessons to be learnt.

One quick mention about your experiences in Spain - I say good job it ended badly. Think of what could have happened if it didn't, whether it ended amicably or indeed carried on electronically once you went home. The pain would have been far greater if it continued, and if things ended on a good note then you'd always be tempted to get in touch...which is ALWAYS a dangerous thing to do, particularly for us Aspies!

Proud of you Dan! :smt023

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Skyline

PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:51 pm    Author: Skyline    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Best birthday present ever... Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 5! :D Sometimes it's the smaller things that matter.

Talking of that... I'm an avid collector. When I was younger I used to collect dice (I have 300 now in fact)... now it's Golden Age cartoons. I have about 450 of 'em now.

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killersbee

PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 12:27 pm    Author: killersbee    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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That's a hell of a lot of shows, there!

Big-Davey wrote:
2) KB will want to pay attention to this one. UNIVERSITY. Same story; they know Aspies will struggle and therefore will either sweep you under the doormat and be away with you, OR they will recognise you are still intelligent enough to warrant a place in their university (most universities need you to have plenty of UCAS points so you'd have needed to do well in college to even get to this stage!) and therefore offer you what help they're capable of giving you :) Don't give up!


Funny you should mention that, I just had my "second-chance" interview which even though it went SO MUCH better this time, it was one of the toughest interviews I've done. So I could be getting good news very soon :D

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Skyline

PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:48 pm    Author: Skyline    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Good luck, KB!!

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Big-Davey

PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 7:23 pm    Author: Big-Davey    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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It's not my place to say why but let's just say I think KB is in a good mood today ;)

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daniel123

PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 4:18 pm    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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I've been meaning to post a reply to...well, the reply to my original post I suppose..for a while actually. Never got round to it.

Here's something...I admit I will never consider myself as "on" this autistic scale. I will never consider myself an "AS" person - I never used to like labels...and I don't know how anyone else is supposed to have a need to know whether I am or am not. It's like the question on the census about marital status - it's none of their business.
In fact, it's equal to the census itself - none of their business.

But that's another, boring, matter...and anyways, so yes..I don't put myself in the "Asperger" class at all. In fact, my aim is to go on to be more successful than Michael Barrymore. When he was very popular :-D
Our styles seem to match absolutely...strange - that one-to-one, I struggle hugely if I don't know someone. But with a mass of people? My element.

Having said all of that, I may be influenced slightly...by myself. This moment in time I feel fantastic - I can't see anything negative really, the right state of mind to be in when you've got exams I suppose! 8)

I'd say don't even consider allowing "outside" - and I really mean "outside" - people to know, unless they must. Secondary school was mostly a nightmare for me - but legendary status now acquired (I'm quite the local celebrity, perpetual flavour-of-the-month, that sort of thing**), I reckon these things even themselves out.




** Oh, and I can struggle with modesty, sometimes. :smt023

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81st member of the Pat M fan club. Still flying the flag for the class of '06...

Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.


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killersbee

PostPosted: Sat May 14, 2011 8:57 pm    Author: killersbee    Post subject: Re: Aspergers Syndrome Awareness Thread
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Big-Davey wrote:
It's not my place to say why but let's just say I think KB is in a good mood today ;)


Hell yes and that's a huge issue off my back! :D

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