Here's a few of my jokes...

There are a group of women sat in a circle at a womens' hostel, then a Swedish lady stands up.
'My husband told me he was doing no cleaning for me, and that I had to get up off my arse and do it myself. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I saw nothing, on the third day he had cleaned up every spec of dust,' Everybody claps. Next, A pretty woman from Germany stands up. 'My husband said he was doing no cooking at all. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I saw nothing, on the third day he had cooked me a gourmet meal. Everyone applauds. Suddenly, a rather obese Scottish woman stands up. 'My husband said he was doing no cooking and no cleaning. He said it was a woman's job. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I saw nothing. The third day, I could only see out of the corner of my left eye!'

And the next one...

What does it mean if you see your girlfriend/wife in the living room?
The chain's too long!

And another...

Why did the woman cross the road?
Why was she out of the kitchen anyway?!

I love sexist jokes.

Gary Glitter has been shamed yet again... this time by being caught in an England football top.

Haha!

Quality!

Police have re-arrested Gary Glitter - they found class A drugs in his kitchen, class B drugs in his living room, and class 5c in his bedroom!

Oh dear...

Infact, these shouldn't even be on here should they? people of all ages can read this!

Remove them if you need to!

Careless talk costs lives.

So does a careless Divvy.

A young boy and Gary Glitter are out at night, walking towards the forest.

The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"

Gary says, "You're scared! I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"

---

Following another arrest, Glitter faces the firing squad. He is allowed a last request.
He says "I want John Terry to do the shooting, from twelve yards".

HAHA!

Glitter is really feeling the effects of the credit crunch... he's having to charge the kids for sweets now.

Oh dear (again). Where are you getting these from? Or are you making them up?!

I'm getting them from... a website, which shall remain unnamed.

Shortest Ever Books:

1000 Years of German Humor
The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
The Vatican List of Celibate Priests
Guide to Good American Beer
Countries Competing In The So-Called "World" Series
Things Clinton and Nixon Would Not Do for Money

You left out French Military Successes.

Tis true, the only war the French won was with themselves

Or when we helped.

How do you get a fat bird into bed? Piece of cake...

*tumbleweed rolls past*

Bwuahahahahahahahahaha! Best joke ever