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Skyline
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 10:29 pm    Author: Skyline    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:42 pm
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JamesJMH91 wrote:
What happens after a skunk writes a letter?
The letter gets scent.


:smt011

Why did Bugs Bunny get shot?

Because Daffy Ducked.

Chortle Chortle.

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psychokiller
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 11:51 pm    Author: psychokiller    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:42 am
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For many years, the most toxic place on Earth was Pripyat in Ukraine. Now, it's the archives at the BBC.
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"The Banker"
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 12:02 am    Author: "The Banker"    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 1:24 am
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psychokiller wrote:
Bonnie Tyler was performing on the TV just before. I heard her voice from upstairs. I was concerned at first, as I initially thought that the roof tiles were falling down.


I bought a second-hand car from her once. It generally runs OK, but every now and then it falls apart.

Ba dum tsch!

I offered her one of my Cadbury Roses, but she refused. Then I asked if she would like one of my Quality Street but again, she refused.

I think she was holding out for a Heroes.

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JamesJMH91
PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:00 pm    Author: JamesJMH91    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:39 am
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I was on an aeroplane sitting between a zombie and a vampire, the zombie asked me what life was like in the 1990s

My response was "It was pretty good, though people would've been more scared of You guys back then, then they are now"

"What makes you say that?" said the zombie

"Well, You guys were too hot to touch back in those days" i said

"What does that mean?" said the vampire

"BECAUSE YOU GUYS WEREN'T COOL BACK THEN!" :-D :-D :smt047 :smt047 :smt047
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daniel123
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:28 am    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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A man went on the run yesterday after being caught stealing two tubs of yellow dessert. Police say he's now safely in custardy. :smt023

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81st member of the Pat M fan club. Still flying the flag for the class of '06...

Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.

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mr_northern_guy
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:20 pm    Author: mr_northern_guy    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:26 pm
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Celtic FC have just announced their new manager. I've heard when they offered him the post, they posed the question, "Ronnie, Deila or No Deila?"

(See http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27718845 if you don't get it.)
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daniel123
PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:57 pm    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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The United Kingdom Independence Party.

Getting all political, now... :smt047

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81st member of the Pat M fan club. Still flying the flag for the class of '06...

Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.

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American Coupon Boy
PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:11 am    Author: American Coupon Boy    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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daniel123 wrote:
The United Kingdom Independence Party.

Getting all political, now... :smt047


*throws rotten tomatoes*

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The next series begins immediately after the premiere of the Deal or No Deal revival.

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Skyline
PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:12 am    Author: Skyline    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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Why did American Coupon Boy cross the road?

To insult yet another innocent member of public!

Image Image Image Image Image

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mr_northern_guy
PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:21 pm    Author: mr_northern_guy    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:26 pm
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Better Together.
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daniel123
PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:08 am    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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Image

'Now, Mr Hewer, I'm just going to insert my thermometer...'

:shock:

_________________
81st member of the Pat M fan club. Still flying the flag for the class of '06...

Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.

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Dr. Hindsight
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:41 pm    Author: Dr. Hindsight    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:09 pm
Location: Eternal Freedom
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Tetris movie stalled due to writer's block.

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I have berated my last contestant and have nothing else to say. Roll credits. Fade to black. | Dr. Hindsight | April 18, 2006 - December 7, 2023

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JamesJMH91
PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 7:07 am    Author: JamesJMH91    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:39 am
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A day late, i know, but..

What do snakes do on valentine's day?
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daniel123
PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 6:34 pm    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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...hiss? :ponder:

_________________
81st member of the Pat M fan club. Still flying the flag for the class of '06...

Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.

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JamesJMH91
PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 11:36 pm    Author: JamesJMH91    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread

Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:39 am
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They give each other lots of hugs and hisses! :-D
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daniel123
PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 2:18 am    Author: daniel123    Post subject: Re: Jokes thread
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I was...half right :-D

_________________
81st member of the Pat M fan club. Still flying the flag for the class of '06...

Like Tom Hanks and his football on that island in 'Cast Away', it looks like it's just me and the bots here now. But that's alright, we're having a grand old time. Aren't we, Wilson? WILSOOOON?!

A few of us who were once part of the furniture, once stalwarts of the grand and extravagant, exuberant and thriving forum, have receded back into the walls, still faintly visible, still here as poignant, reminding relics of an era gone by; but most of us have vanished, forever immersed in the mists of time.

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